I openly run a small poly house but it’s easy when you’re the man and head of household. This position gives a man status and doesn’t affect my security clearance. Occasionally I get the stink eye, but what parts I down play, whatever questions or questioning stares I ignore; I ignore on the girls behalf.

I feel into my first poly relationship. Long story short these girls had a long term relationship where one girl was the primary breadwinner and the other a stay at home “wife”. They were looking for a man to fill in the gap, fiscally, emotionally and physically of their relationship. They were the primary relationship. It was an enjoyable experience and ended when one girl moved for a promotion.

Men question how I do it, saying one woman is enough. These men view of women as their equal and their co partner. One would be enough. Been there, done that, never again. I value the girls’ opinions on certain topics but I lead they follow. Or go find a new man. Only a fool ignores the good advice of others. My majordomo is a fount of Old School, Old World lady wisdom. My daughter knows more about nutrition then I ever will. Girl#1 is a nurse practioner and knows things that I do not. Black Beauty has a master’s degree in online marketing and something or another, is a successful business woman and an amazing homemaker. I listen to them but they do not shape my opinions outside their narrow field of expertise. This does create some issues as Girl#2 thinks her master’s degree in public relations has value and Girl #3, who hasn’t read a book more complex then 50 Shades of grey, thinks she is as smart as the other girls.

I am not successful by my efforts alone. The majordomo handles most routine domestic issues, removing and reducing stress wherever possible. She is 74, so I hire out some help and we all pitch in here and there, but by and large she does all the domestic chores and manages the household in the way that I direct. The house is clean; diner is ready to go into the oven etc whenever Girl#1 and I get home. After diner we chat and then the majordomo cleans up. Sometimes we help, but most of the time we go sit in my chair and play with the Hell Hounds. Girl#1 is another key factor. She wants to be in a poly home to share fiscal resources and domestic chores. My beloved sucks ass on the domestic front. We both view three adults sharing the day to day duties normally divided among two adults as the major advantage with sexual variety being somewhat lower on the list. My leadership allows her to feel secure, free and at peace. I don’t see how a poly home would run smoothly without the domestic discipline/ BDSM aspects of our relationship. This sets up a linear chain of command, provides an outlet to correct poor behavior and a boat load of tools to deliver the drama women crave thereby eliminating most shit tests before they occur.

All the girls are significantly younger than me and like Girl#1 feel secure, free and at peace etc. All three have thrived since starting a relationship with me though the transition between free agent and well behaved little girl was not always smooth. Paying off debt, eating better, working out more, less bullshit drama at work and with their family. This is pretty common. In times past, families have been fairly resistant to their younger daughter dating a significantly older man. Most have gotten over that as they see the girl’s life gain order and improve. Not all. Most.

Being in a poly home involves four core game concepts; dread, pre-selection, and demonstrating higher value (DHV) are the most obvious but added to the more direct aspects of DHV etc is frame control. Each girl sees how I interact/ lead and improve the other girls’ life. These are overt displays without anything being said in a direct manner. This sets up a semi-competition for my affections which I ensure doesn’t get out of hand. Some days are shit test after fucking shit test but those days are rare and a sign that I am not delivering enough drama and leadership. I start our days together with me in my chair, and the girls sitting on the floor with the dogs. When it’s just the two of us, Girl#1 ends up in my lap in no time. I send them to stand or kneel in a corner when they act up or bicker among themselves. The importance of maintaining a strong masculine, leadership/ headship frame cannot be over stated.

The girls deserve my best as I have asked them, and they have agreed to live beyond the mainstream American life. The overwhelming majority of the time, we are a happy family and domestic tranquility reigns. I love having my house full, watching the majordomo teach one girl how to cook, while I play video games with another and the third is sitting nearby, curled up with one of the Hell Hounds reading a book. It’s also a huge ego stroke walking around town with three younger girls hanging on me. It’s amusing when the try to “conspire” against me, especially when they try to enlist the help of my majordomo. She has known me for about as long as I have been alive, was more of a mother to me then my own mother and elected to come live with me over her biological children when her beloved husband passed on. Her loyalty is better than money in the bank.

I ensure each girl gets equal time in practically all manners. On the rare occasion we are all together at the same time or we go out as a family, I give them options; take in suggestions, but there is a rotation of who gets to decide where the family will go for drinks or the like. When I have a strong preference for something, such as movies, there is no option. When I give them options, they are options I can live with. Girls are reward openly and punished in private, for the most part. Girl#1 lives with me full time and gets the majority of my attention. When it’s the weekend, our time is more focused on the other girls. While deployed I write them a very generic email every two days or so then whatever private email traffic comes up between us is what it is and remains private. I guard their privacy so they feel free to bring up various complaints with me. I determine if the issue should be addressed and how it will address. Most of what comes up is minor and doesn’t merit discussion. The girls do not have the right to address anything between themselves. I never discus my displeasure with any other girl but the one I am unhappy with; I never tell who was unhappy about what. I praise the girls in public as often as I can.

Some things are only shared with one girl because our hobbies align. Girl#1 is a fitness fanatic so we train at the same time. Girl#2 likes to cook so we cook together. Girl#3 came with her own motorcycle and likes to shoot, and Girl#1 bought her own bike so when we ride as a family, those girls are on their bikes, Girl#2 rides with me. Girl #3 hates to ride bitch, and Girl#1 gets a lot of time on my bike as we live together full time. Girl#1 is the only one who gets much in the way of alone time with me. What Girl#1 and I do as a couple is strictly between us and never mentioned. This will come to an end if Girl#2 moves in with us. Alone time gets the girls to a wondering and thinking and that’s never good. We are a family 1st and foremost. Everyone’s priority is the family and keeping the family peace. I don’t give any one girl the chance to get jealous, though they do. Each one is my favorite for one reason or another and free to tell me when they feel jealous. I deal with this mostly with a quick explanation and lots of affection.

No one girl ranks higher than any other girl. There is no alpha sub or any such nonsense. My executive officer is my majordomo. She exists in a separate sphere. The number one rule for us is family 1st. It is us vs the world at all times. Do not strive to make any one girl happy, do not take sides, keep the peace and provide direction or correction. Men always fail when we prioritize a woman’s happiness. Fair rules, impartially applied, predict likely points of failure and address them before they become a problem. Pretty much the way any one leads any group of people.

Money is a major issue with endless opportunities for mischief. I manage their money to avoid jealously (and because they suck at money management). We don’t have a joint checking account but everyone contributes to the family budget to some degree. I have set up their budgets; X amount into savings, X amount to spend on whatever they want, how much extra money to put down on their debt, I approve any new debt they take on, how much they are allowed to spend on eating out etc. Pretty much the Dave Ramsey plan. Everyone’s budget is the same percentage point wise. Each person is allowed to spend $50 on special occasion gifts and the like. This sounds horrible to many people but they all have less debt and more money saved then before I stepped in. Everything I establish is to improve the security of us as individuals and as a family.

The house rules are the house rules and the chore list is the chore list establishing who helps the majordomo or me do our chores. I considered establishing a pattern that is equitable across the board and keeps certain girls from doing chores they dislike but killed the idea because the potential for appearing I favor one girl at another girl’s expense. I don’t do much in the house outside of taking care of the dogs, dog fur removal and cooking when I care to. I have 5 acres of land and a pond to tend to plus the normal house, vehicle and bike repairs.

That’s it. A complex issue made simple, as all complex issues should be. Complexity allows for more points of failure and allowing things to be complex is Beta. Alphas cut through the bullshit and zero in on what counts. Every man I know who is successful at anything, coaching power-lifters, running the shipping assets of a multinational corporation or building custom bikes focus on making the complex simple.


12 thoughts on “Poly

  1. BuenaVista

    The nights on the town, with the full complement, sound pretty fun. As does having a majordomo: life seems to improve in value in direct correlation to access to a good housekeeper/cook.

    What I don’t get is how you manage to keep everyone living in the moment, instead of driving you insane with questions about the future. So that’s question #1: how do you keep them living in the moment? I guess because the women I see are older they think more about the future than a 20-something, but jesus it gets old.

    Pre-empting shit-tests is an intriguing post of it’s own, I think. Once I realized shit-tests were organic to women, like, say, breathing, I began to think one should be able to recognize them when they’re on the build and just pre-empt them. All I came up with was sudden counter-squalls of semi-rough sex. This is hard to effect if one is out having dinner in public. People look skeptically at men spanking and fucking their dates in the middle of a cafe.

    1. sfcton Post author

      hmmmmm living in the moment…. Age may play a part in it, and I think the kind of girls that are attracted to me are the live in the moment kind of girls. Also we don’t spend as much time together as a family as we would like so there is a lot of just silliness going on. We have a family plan: Girl#1 and I work outside the home; Girl#2 learn domestic stuff from my Majordomo, teach online college,a little bit and have babies. Girl#3 came with Girl#2 and I don’t think she will stay on for much longer…. but who knows?

      One of the benefits I bring to them is planning on things that they would not normally do, like maxing out their thrift savings plan, budgeting for a trip to Nashville as a group etc. I think the Girls trust me and my judgement and are free to live in the moment because I am taking care of their future.

      We never know what we’ll run into when we are out, but its never as bad as when I’m out with my Black Beauty. It’s damn near a fight every time. Mostly we get the stink eye from middle age chicks and lots of WTF expressions. We can always tell when that happens because they will then start talking among themselves. We go to this one bar the most, really cool out of the way place here in rural NC that is very family friendly. Like little kids dancing on Friday night kind of stuff. Everyone there is happy to see us because Girl#2 & #3 light up a room. We also don’t do a lot of public displays of affection when we are in more family oriented venues. The worst was when we were at the beach. I was in the middle, each girl was holding my hand etc etc. Lots o’ stares but who’s going to say shit to me?

      When the girls act up in public, we leave. And what is going done is not going to be semi rough, but the notion is, to take care of those things before they act up. Grab her by the arm, pull her into you and tell her behave. If not you are consenting to me turning your back porch red. Or drag her to the car and pound her out in the back seat

      1. BuenaVista

        Not sure if this is apropos your remark or not. A few years ago I was chasing a girl all over the place and not doing so hot. I even let her friendzone me, but when she and I were home in Iowa at the same time I would drop by to see her, and her folks, as we all get along. I still do this. She’s never married, and the smallest person in her family at 6’1″, 130 pounds. Real career is in Manhattan doing fashion.

        Last week, same drill, and I’m taking her out to lunch. We’re walking down the street in DSM and I’m being shit-tested a little bit. She’s a bit miffed that I don’t chase her any more and I say, “Well, I chased you for five years, so I think we’ve been to that fire. I did appreciate that time you dry-humped me though.” (Translation: I didn’t know what the friendzone was five years ago, now I do. Too bad, at least your parents think I’m cool.)


        “Do you remember when we were walking down this street two years ago? What you asked me?”

        “Yeah, I asked you if you were a lesbian.”

        “I’m not a lesbian!”

        “I don’t care, really, none of my business.”

        “I’m so not a lesbian! I could be, lots of my friends are, but I’m not!”

        “I learned a lot of useful things watching lesbian porn, sweetheart, so I’m cool.”

        Thwaaaack, on the broken shoulder.

        Fast forward three days. She’s back in NYC and texting and emailing me. (I think we have a lane-changing exercise underway, but that’s a digression.) I get an incoherent drunk text with a picture of her and two girlfriends. “See? But we not lexbians!”

        I don’t know if it’s three shooters, but sometimes people protest too much. Or just tell the truth slowly.

      2. BuenaVista

        Incidentally, I just admitted to another girl that I had made a proper study of lesbian porn, and she turned the color of a good sunset. (Evidently her husband does not perform a certain act, or anyway, that’s her story.) (I do not get inappropriate with most people, so it’s a bit of a shock when I do.)

        I conclude one of two things: a) she blushed at the idea of girl on girl, because of actual or fantasy reasons; or b) cunnilingus is to marriage, as morphine is to a hospital bed.

  2. BuenaVista

    I am usually up by 3-4 a.m. I would be more productive if I had what WF Buckley had, which was (among other things) a kindly majordomo bringing my breakfast to my office, before starting on her housecleaning chores. My quality of life soared in divorce, as I traded way down in the housing department, freeing up lots of cash for a housekeeper. It’s hard to find one who will do laundry and ironing, though. And I usually have to teach them how to actually clean, as opposed to pushing dirt around and shining dirt with a Swifter.

    1. sfcton Post author

      LOL yea she is a blessing. I’ll talk more about the majordomo later when I introduce the girls. Any rate, she does not make my breakfast but every morning the eggs, frying pan etc is set out for me

      Apparently only like 2%of women are into chicks…. yet I don’t have a problem finding them. either i am freakishly good with this niche market or the numbers are much higher then 2%. My appeal i a niche market so

      The best way to keep a girl around is to “force” her into doing something dirty, which she loves ( the actual act and being “forced”. Second best is not to be judgmental when you find that one thing like you described

  3. redpillgirlnotes

    I have been waiting to read this one! I am w Liz, I don’t like other women enough for this arrangement. But at times I have thought the many hand makes light work aspect would be nice. I want a garden wife, a kitchen wife, a laundry wife, and a neat freak wife!

    1. sfcton Post author

      lol I think it depends on where the focus is darling. I have seen most poly homes crash and burn.

      Poly seems to be gaining in popularity, but still not common. The girl I am killing time with here in the A-stan went from “don’t tell me” to curious. I think part of the popularity is a desire for family, love and affection on a grand scale.


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