There are four things that turn boys into men, challenges, risks, hardships and if the boy is lucky masculine mentorship. . While the 1st three are similar on the surface they fundamentally different and developed different aspects of the masculine frame
The cornerstone of masculinity is the ability and willingness to commit violence. Anything that builds up the ability and willingness to commit violence is a net positive in our lives; anything that diminishes the ability and willingness to commit violence is a negative in our lives. Now put away your moral high horse; violence is a tool. It is neither good nor bad in and of itself. What directs and motivates the violence makes the actions moral or not.
Many things in life create challenges, but not all challenges produce a masculine soul. Masculinity is active so only physical challenges create masculinity. Studying hard in school is challenging for many men but in and of itself does little to develop a masculine frame. Where it might possibly help is laying the ground work for developing a discipline mind. Discipline wins brawls. The list of possible physical challenges is endless, but not all of them involve risk or hardship. Many of the farm chores I did as a kid were challenging but when the weather was nice posed no real risk or hardship. I also worked in a grocery store as a kid. Some of the work was challenging but none of it was a hardship or a risk to my safety.
Risk is an interesting topic to me. There are all sorts of risks in the world and a fair number of things people think are risky but are in fact relatively safe. Sky diving seems risky but causes few injuries and deaths. Military airborne ops are much different. In 18 years of mass tac’s static line jumping I’ve pretty much seen it all. Or had it happen to me, including a complete malfunction of my main chute. Shit happens when there is 2500 motherfcukers in the sky at the same time. In 6 years of military free fall operations (HALO and HAO) we had one incident. Sadly it cost a man his life and another man his legs. I have seen one civilian die jumping and she jumped from a radio tower. There are all manner of risks. Physical risks, risky business ventures and social risks of hitting on chicks. What is risky is highly subjective and changes from man to man. I have known men who wouldn’t think twice about taking down a crack house freeze up when it comes to hitting on some chick in a bar. I have never thought twice about getting shot down during an approach because it seems like small tatters compared to being #1 in the stack, but I don’t do high risk investments with my money. How a man handled risk says a lot about his frame, especially when the danger is sudden and unexpected. I reckon its probably hard to handle the sudden and unexpected when you haven’t been exposed to various risks beforehand, but I cannot say that is true form personal experience. The army in its capitulation to pussydom replaced the term search and destroy with movement to contact. A 4 mile hike in Southern Appalachia during the early spring may be challenging but is not a hardship and relatively low on risks. A 30 mile movement to contact, at night with 150 pounds of gear on your back is a challenge, a hardship and comes with real risks. My 1st combat injury was spraining my ankle when a rock gave way and I tumbled down the side of a mountain. My ankle swelled up to the point they had to cut my boot off. Remember that because people don’t seem to count risks like that as… well risky. Plus it was embarrassing to get medvac because of a busted ankle. Our bodies do not want to face injury, mutilation or death. You have to mentally override your body to do so. Our default psychological setting is to defend our sense of self which is why you have to butch up to approach that hottie. You literally have to mentally overrule your default psychological setting. See how taking on risks builds you up?
Hardships are necessary to produce strong masculine men because dealing with risks and overcoming challenges are part of the process of dealing with hardships. All manner of hardships. Physical, mental and psychological. Any man who has sought out a soft life isn’t much of a man, yet not all men will face the same kind of hardships enroute to maximize his potential. Each has their place in developing a strong masculine frame. Poverty can be a great crucible for masculinity. If there are avenues for latter success. Something that is no longer true of the usa. Not that I am praising poverty. I grew up in the 6th poorest county in the usa, I have been hillbilly rich, worked full time and still dirt poor because of child support and alimony and now I am UMC, or better depending on where I am working but young men don’t have the same opportunities as I did. And if you’re a young White man your society, government and culture is against you. Physical hardships are best. I will say essential in building masculinity. Physical hardships imply challenges and risks. Your body does not want to be hot, or cold or rained on or calorie and sleep deficient. Telling your body to shut the fuck up and Ranger on exercises your will power, strengthen your body and mind. Manual labor is the 1st step on that highway, but there isn’t that much of it to go around these days. Part of why I spent so much time in the military was for the hardship. Shared hardship builds strong bonds among men. The best stand in I can think of for most men is serious MMA training. It is tough, requiring two training sessions a day. Like a strength or cardio training then fight training after work and 4 hours on Saturday. Man is the most dangerous game and that’s why fighting produces hard men. I have a lot of respect for throwers or rock climbers but their “opponent” is themselves and inanimate objects. Stepping into a ring to fight another man means you are putting every part of yourself against every part of him. It’s one on one so you cannot hide behind teammates and every eye in the arena is on you. For pride and a paycheck, though mostly just pride when you start off. Masculine pride is the most valuable thing you own. I have watched the show Deadliest Catch a few times. Those guys live this out as well. The job is challenging, they are risking life, limb and economic success in some of the most extreme physical conditions on the planet. There are ways to achieve this potential besides the few ways I know
Only challenges, risks, hardships and masculine mentor-ship produce positive masculine men. Hell the terrible track record of boys raised by single moms proves this. Many come out pretty masculine but in the non positive, out of control sort of way. A woman on their own can never produce a man with a strong positive masculine frame. She doesn’t have the required tools and the kinds of challenges, risks and hardships women create are never the constructive kind. They produce the kind that leave men bitter and gun-shy.