Monthly Archives: March 2015

synonyms and being a bad boy.

Synonyms are words or phrases with similar meaning. I think. I earn my pay with a rifle not a Thor-sore-us, but I hear the same 4 phrases said about me over and over again and I think they all mean the same thing, just from a different point of view

#1 thing I hear men say about me is…. “bad ass”. As in “Ton, that is bad ass” or “you just look like a bad ass” etc etc.

#1 thing I hear from women when talking about me is….. “most manly man I’ve ever known”  or some such nonsense.

Sadly in today’s world, neither has a particularly high standard to achieve. Yea I have a tough job and I live hard but BV’s story about his self rescue after his bike crash is as bad ass as it fucking gets. Lots of are bad ass, lots of men are 100% masculine.

A few weekends back I was at BBQ ( God bless the South). While standing around a partner’s kitchen my friend Anthony remarked how “Ton just stands there like a bad ass”. Later one of the ladies told his wife “You’re right, Ton is all man”.

Now lets put this in context. Every swinging dick there was a combat vet with trigger time ( well not Anthony he was our medic with balls to spare but has never put a man down), a number of them SOCOM vets like myself, two race 1/4 miles stuff, one is very successful at it, most are ok mechanics and the like…. Everyone one of those guys have pretty much done what I have done, none of them are pussies and I’d take anyone of them into the thickest shit imaginable but they are tame, almost nurtured back here Stateside, standing around in their pressed britches and collared shirt and modern(ish)

Any-rate, regardless of what they say, each are saying the same thing with different words. Bad ass is what guys say, most manly man ever is what chicks say. Each from their perceptive. Women, they want the most manly dude around, men what to be a bad ass, they want to follow bad ass mother fuckers and they want to be on a crew full of bad ass mother fuckers which solidifies there own place in the hierarchy of men ( note most men do not want to lead such a crew, they want to be on it, part of that team, be part of the glory, honor and achievements).  What they are reacting to is the margins, that 10% differences between me and those other men.  They have facebook accounts, I don’t; they were wearing what amounts to business casual, I was in leathers with a skull cap; they drink beer, I drink bourbon on the rocks; I have face fur, unkempt and almost out of control, they are clean shaven or have well kept facial hair; they ask their girls for permission, I tell mine whats going down(and who); They hold hands etc with their girls, I smack mine on the ass in public. You get the picture. It’s in the margins

Girl#1 made the statement no women ever born enjoys being a girl more then her. Some may enjoy being a girl as much as her, but none more and she made the observation I love being a man, revel and glory in it. It is one of the key things she finds appealing in me( and lets face it I’m pretty much a one trick pony so that IS what she likes about me. Everything else she would say is an offshoot of that). The difference between me and those other dudes is that revelry. Unapologetic. Unrepentant. Unreconstructed. At all times back here in the world, those other dudes hold some part of their masculinity back. They are limited, controlled and play the role society, church, school etc  has taught them

Being a bad boy isn’t being bad, its being a man. The phrase needs to be retired and betas need to embrace being a man, revel in the testosterone and live at full fucking speed.

 

The other two things I hear often are “you are scary” and “nice beard”. Now I have a nice beard. No doubt and I have been asked twice to join beards-men clubs and compete in local bearding events. Its a gift of nature and nothing I had to work to develop but I love my beard. More then any woman… on par with my bikes, dogs and guns. Yea that much but mostly that phrase is used as an uncomfortable icebreaker. Most recently, when I was in an elevator. Some slick in a suit steps into my elevator before he notices me… looks taken back and says nice beard. He was, I think, more concerned about the safety of his wallet and used that phrase to gauge where things stood. That’s the vibe I pick up most often, but here in the West, beards are a sign of masculinity and there is a good deal of recognition in the phrase( also a traditional sign of maturity and wisdom that maturity use to bring and was honored  but that’s something else)

You are scary or some version of it comes from chicks. Often what I hear is “thank God you are nice”  or “I thought you were mean,” after a short conversation when she feels more at ease. ( to pull a lot of ass I had to learn to offset the scary) When she is high on vagina fumes and girl power she’ll say “I am not afraid of you”. LOL then why say such a thing darling? Through out history strangers and strange men have been a threat to…. well everyone so it makes sense. It also makes sense because I live and dress outside the mainstream( one of the things negros say that crack me up is how White folk judge them based on appearances while they are dressed like a thug…. )

Any rate, once again men and women are saying the same basic thing but choosing different verbiage for the message  and that message is a reflection of scoring high on the masculinity ladder

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