synonyms and being a bad boy.

Synonyms are words or phrases with similar meaning. I think. I earn my pay with a rifle not a Thor-sore-us, but I hear the same 4 phrases said about me over and over again and I think they all mean the same thing, just from a different point of view

#1 thing I hear men say about me is…. “bad ass”. As in “Ton, that is bad ass” or “you just look like a bad ass” etc etc.

#1 thing I hear from women when talking about me is….. “most manly man I’ve ever known”  or some such nonsense.

Sadly in today’s world, neither has a particularly high standard to achieve. Yea I have a tough job and I live hard but BV’s story about his self rescue after his bike crash is as bad ass as it fucking gets. Lots of are bad ass, lots of men are 100% masculine.

A few weekends back I was at BBQ ( God bless the South). While standing around a partner’s kitchen my friend Anthony remarked how “Ton just stands there like a bad ass”. Later one of the ladies told his wife “You’re right, Ton is all man”.

Now lets put this in context. Every swinging dick there was a combat vet with trigger time ( well not Anthony he was our medic with balls to spare but has never put a man down), a number of them SOCOM vets like myself, two race 1/4 miles stuff, one is very successful at it, most are ok mechanics and the like…. Everyone one of those guys have pretty much done what I have done, none of them are pussies and I’d take anyone of them into the thickest shit imaginable but they are tame, almost nurtured back here Stateside, standing around in their pressed britches and collared shirt and modern(ish)

Any-rate, regardless of what they say, each are saying the same thing with different words. Bad ass is what guys say, most manly man ever is what chicks say. Each from their perceptive. Women, they want the most manly dude around, men what to be a bad ass, they want to follow bad ass mother fuckers and they want to be on a crew full of bad ass mother fuckers which solidifies there own place in the hierarchy of men ( note most men do not want to lead such a crew, they want to be on it, part of that team, be part of the glory, honor and achievements).  What they are reacting to is the margins, that 10% differences between me and those other men.  They have facebook accounts, I don’t; they were wearing what amounts to business casual, I was in leathers with a skull cap; they drink beer, I drink bourbon on the rocks; I have face fur, unkempt and almost out of control, they are clean shaven or have well kept facial hair; they ask their girls for permission, I tell mine whats going down(and who); They hold hands etc with their girls, I smack mine on the ass in public. You get the picture. It’s in the margins

Girl#1 made the statement no women ever born enjoys being a girl more then her. Some may enjoy being a girl as much as her, but none more and she made the observation I love being a man, revel and glory in it. It is one of the key things she finds appealing in me( and lets face it I’m pretty much a one trick pony so that IS what she likes about me. Everything else she would say is an offshoot of that). The difference between me and those other dudes is that revelry. Unapologetic. Unrepentant. Unreconstructed. At all times back here in the world, those other dudes hold some part of their masculinity back. They are limited, controlled and play the role society, church, school etc  has taught them

Being a bad boy isn’t being bad, its being a man. The phrase needs to be retired and betas need to embrace being a man, revel in the testosterone and live at full fucking speed.


The other two things I hear often are “you are scary” and “nice beard”. Now I have a nice beard. No doubt and I have been asked twice to join beards-men clubs and compete in local bearding events. Its a gift of nature and nothing I had to work to develop but I love my beard. More then any woman… on par with my bikes, dogs and guns. Yea that much but mostly that phrase is used as an uncomfortable icebreaker. Most recently, when I was in an elevator. Some slick in a suit steps into my elevator before he notices me… looks taken back and says nice beard. He was, I think, more concerned about the safety of his wallet and used that phrase to gauge where things stood. That’s the vibe I pick up most often, but here in the West, beards are a sign of masculinity and there is a good deal of recognition in the phrase( also a traditional sign of maturity and wisdom that maturity use to bring and was honored  but that’s something else)

You are scary or some version of it comes from chicks. Often what I hear is “thank God you are nice”  or “I thought you were mean,” after a short conversation when she feels more at ease. ( to pull a lot of ass I had to learn to offset the scary) When she is high on vagina fumes and girl power she’ll say “I am not afraid of you”. LOL then why say such a thing darling? Through out history strangers and strange men have been a threat to…. well everyone so it makes sense. It also makes sense because I live and dress outside the mainstream( one of the things negros say that crack me up is how White folk judge them based on appearances while they are dressed like a thug…. )

Any rate, once again men and women are saying the same basic thing but choosing different verbiage for the message  and that message is a reflection of scoring high on the masculinity ladder

102 thoughts on “synonyms and being a bad boy.

  1. theasdgamer

    At a youthful swing party last night at a studio (college kids, 20-somethings, and a few parents), I was in a black western shirt & 501’s, black cowboy boots, and black ballcap. Shaved head. (I brought wine last night because it was handy, but I order bourbon on the rocks at bars. Other guys order beer, mostly.) 42 yo twice-divorced blonde HB7 with a high school kid in tow approached me and told me that she wanted to dance with me at my convenience. C0ckblocking situation. I danced with the blonde a lot.

    To Ton’s point. Nobody would say that I was badass. Nobody crosses me much, though. Probably cuz IDGAS. I’m a real rogue. Married broad who didn’t used to like me for dancing with young gals at a country dance bar has been polite lately and actually tagged me on her facebook post. (I use facebook to keep in contact with extended family and for dance news.)

    Anyway, was able to isolate the HB7 from her ball and chain, but not for long. Walked arm in arm. Didn’t even go for a kiss because she said that she was wrapped up in her kids and talked about God a lot. (Inappropriate at a party and before even a kiss. Figured out that we should have played the “Don’t let the kids catch us flirting” game.) With her kid around, didn’t want to kino the mom other than incidentally. Danced with her kid a couple of times. The kid was cute.

    Gave her a lot of attention to work on my convo. We chatted about six to eight inches away from each other’s face, facing towards each other. In the kiss zone. She was frequently leaning in. HB7 avoided the laser eye. She mentioned orgasms being taught in sex ed class in a negative way (which still is sexualization, though from a religious perspective). I talked about my book. The convo was heavily sexualized in a classy way.

    Asked HB7 what one thing she would change about her life. “Get out of my rut.” Invited her to my country dance bar and she said she’d go once out of curiosity. Gave her my no. and told her to call me when she didn’t have her kids for the weekend and I’d take her.

      1. theasdgamer

        Hear ya. First time in a long while I asked a broad I just met to walk with me arm in arm outside the venue. How about giving me some credit for overcoming my inhibitions? I know it’s baby steps….

        Also, any suggestions about how to deal with the ball and chain on site?

  2. Sumo

    I can’t grow a decent beard to save my life (damned Asian genes!), but I get an acceptable amount of stubble going on after 3 or 4 days. A couple of weeks ago, I was in the grocery store, and the Goth-y looking cashier randomly blurted out “You look like a pirate”. I was a little taken aback, partially because it was about 0730 hrs and I hadn’t finished my first coffee, so I wasn’t really on my game, and didn’t respond with anything more than a lame “It’s the beard, isn’t it?”

    GothGirl informed me that it was both the beard and my earring, but then hastened to mention that she didn’t actually think that I was a “looter”. By then, I was starting to think that Ton would be ashamed of my lackluster performance, so I flashed her the SumoSmirk and said “You sure about that, doll?”

    You could almost hear her creaming her panties as I left the store with my fennel, apples, and cabbage.

    What? I was making slaw.

  3. theshadowedknight

    I get the scary line often enough. Then once they get to know me, they start telling me that they could win in a fight. None of them are willing to back up that statement and only one has agreed to a crush grip test. I may have to get less friendly, make a point.

    The Shadowed Knight

    1. Sumo

      Heh. In my past life, most of the folks I dealt with made a point of claiming “I’m not scared of you”, or some variation thereof.

      When I offered to change their minds, they usually declined my generosity. Go figure.

      1. theshadowedknight

        Sumo, the same thing happens with me. I offer them a chance to prove that they could hold their own, and they always decline. Proof that no matter what they might say, they know better.

        The Shadowed Knight

      2. theshadowedknight

        It is like trying to hide behind a security blanket when you actually have the monster under your bed in front of you. Feels comforting, but it is not going to do shit.

        The Shadowed Knight.

  4. BuenaVista

    Confusing the *cause* of masculinity, with consumable *effects*: don’t even glance at this if your stomach is upset this morning, unless you want to purge anyway:

    What’s funny is that he thinks he can *be* someone like Ton by spending money on jeans, tatts, boots, a motorcycle jacket and a stylist trimming his precious stache.

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      lol he’s the kind of guy who would hand over his wallet without a words being said….

      Nice info on these 9mm rounds. Did you stay with the .380?

      1. BuenaVista

        I’ve been binging on all-metal, hammer-fired weapons (sold my Glock 19). Just got a new Beretta M9A1 (civilian model of the Marine-issued 9mm, with a two inch rail for a flashlight; bedside table), a Beretta Cheetah (discontinued, hammer-fired .380 for urban carry), and the most enjoyable little thing, a Beretta Bobcat in .25. (The latter allows me to pretend I’m working in East Berlin circa 1969.) It goes pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop. Then you throw it at the guy.

        I also bought a new M1 Carbine (.30) for my truck. I’m thinking the M1 would be a good household gun for Mrs. Smith, as she has been testifying in closed sessions on the recent unpleasantness in Libya, and even she admits that Mrs. Clinton’s track record with apostate subordinates is rather bloody, plus I’ve always wondered why the assholes didn’t track her down once she came home. (FMI, Vince Foster committed suicide by shooting himself … in the back of the head. Maybe he was a contortionist.) Also, she can have one legally in occupied WashDC.

        I looked at several subcompacts in 9mm, including a Nano, but they’re mostly all tupperware and my fingers are too long; I am not comfortable two-handing them. My .25 I just shoot one-handed. I realize you’re appalled at the idea, don’t worry, when I go to the big city I’ll have the Cheetah, cocked and locked.

        I met up with some guys in a little town who built a range — in the middle of town. Seriously, it’s right next to the grain elevator. The owner finally went to the town council and asked if he could get an official approval for it, 15 years after construction, and they said, “Well, we suppose, since you never asked before.” They made him agree to be the town murderer of pesky rabbits and dogs, so periodically he’s called upon to assassinate the poor dears. They’re competitive shooters, addicted to 1911s, so I’m getting some good instruction.

      2. SFC Ton Post author

        .25 is better then Sharp stick….. maybe….. hell man I cannot recall the last time I saw .25 ammo….

        You still going into the big city often?

        & the carbine should work just fine but yea it’s dangerous crossing the clintons….

      3. BuenaVista

        The nifty thing about this gun is that you don’t have to rack the slide to go hot. Slap in a mag, then manually insert a round in the tip-up barrel — and it’s 9+1. So girls, or guys with damaged hands, don’t have to get help to chamber a round. It even hits where you point it, up to about 20′.

      4. SFC Ton Post author

        Yep it’s kind of cool that way and that’s what I would give to my majordomo ifin she was ever in the position to have to chamber a round. As it is she has an XDM in 9mm by her bed…

      5. BuenaVista

        I’m headed back to DC for the first time since last summer, in a week or two. But I just got my Utah permit so I have privileges in Minneapolis (they are reciprocal with Utah but not Iowa, no idea why). I go to MSP once a month or so. Minneapolis is getting mighty vibrant.

  5. theasdgamer

    Ton’s post is aimed at the 50-and-below set. Older men like me have to take a different approach. Be the Most Interesting Man in the World. Get fit and have a little muscle. Look good in clothes and wear clothes that look good. Protect skin from the sun. Move gracefully and deliberately and show some power. Show social proof. Don’t be a pussy–engage young women sexually with passes, kisses, etc. Tease them. Learn how to deal with their 5h1t-tests, how to escalate, how to calibrate, how to isolate them, deal with ASD, defeat LMR, etc.

      1. theasdgamer

        If I go full speed for an hour, I spend a week in recovery. Better is optimum speed, with variance, at my age. Very little down time and I improve my life.

        In order to avoid going stale, you have to do new stuff.

      2. theasdgamer

        Guess I don’t get your point. Thought you were about MMA and weight-lifting, which I can’t handle going all out for long. I’m compulsive about following a certain mission. Maybe that’s what you meant? Don’t live life half-assed?

        I still don’t get your point about your dad.

        My new interest is rock climbing. Doing archery again, too.

      3. SFC Ton Post author

        My old man is 74
        He was medically retried out of Speical Forces due to wounds
        He retired to a 300 acre tobacco farm.
        He lays it on the line most days and keeps going
        It’s not the age, it’s the .mindset and what your body is accustomed to

        My advice does not have an age limit but it does require a man to step up and embrace hard living, daily pain etc etc

      4. theasdgamer

        Ok, I’ll agree with your dad being an awesome man. Don’t think that works starting out old, though. You need some practice. A habit of going all out. I’ve had to remember my inner child. Back when I fought every day, etc.

        Being in the military provides tremendous resources for building a man. Instructors, free health care, education, men are in their youth, other men are there to compete with, motivational speakers, etc. Good opportunity to develop good habits.

        If you’re not used to it and don’t have motivational speakers goading you on, developing the mindset is a challenge. Also, a man probably has a lifetime habit of taking the easy way.

        I get daily pain just by standing up, lol. You gotta know when to ignore the pain and when not to.

        But you gotta try something and keep trying. Can’t just plop in front of the tube or computer.

      5. SFC Ton Post author

        Military health care is a liability not an asset and you need to be smart about starting off. Otherwise your post reads like a laundry list of excuses and 1st world problems. Not a fan of either myself

      6. theasdgamer

        Sure they’re 1st world problems. US military recruits come from the 1st world in some fashion. The military is big on motivation from what I have heard.

        Not sure why you are running bull5h1t game on me. Not much in my list was about excuses or other bull5h1t. Did my first climb today, even with tendonitis in my right arm and was complimented on a smooth climb. You got any bull5h1t to offer me about that? lolz

      1. SFC Ton Post author

        LOL awesome.
        Pure awesomeness

        My daughter broke things off with an NHL starter because he never owned a gun, killed a deer etc. Pretty darn funny when she tells the story

  6. redpillgirlnotes

    Very true what bv says, you cannot buy it or fake it. Not that I have any idea what I am talking about but… I do know it is in far too short of real supply! As is femininity. The interesting stuff is always on the fringe…sad what once was the standard is now considered the fringe.

      1. SFC Ton Post author

        LOL I got it my darling you are gun shy from your last time at bat, but trust me it’s part of your biological programing to weed this shit out.

  7. redpillgirlnotes

    I am sure in time all will become clear, as you said too fast… I am very idealistic and trusting… I need to learn to temper that, or protect it for those who are worthy. Bitter pill this one…

  8. Matthew Chiglinsky

    Masculinity is good, but some guys take it too far. The difference between a “badass” and a “bad boy” is the first makes love to his girlfriend, while the second rapes random strangers. The first is Superman. The second is Lex Luthor.

    Unfortunately, Lex Luthor always found a way to evade being in prison, even though he was a ruthless villain. This is the danger in modern society. Feminism has driven some men so insane that they’ve forgotten how to be real men and have instead turned into real monsters.

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      Making love is what my girlfriend does while I fuck her

      While you mean well that is a very immature view of things, men and the world

    2. BuenaVista

      Matthew, being a “rapist of random strangers” is not masculinity. Someone put a bug in your coding.

      1. theshadowedknight

        That is debatable. Rape is a violation of moral norms, not masculine standards. Romans and Norsemen did quite a lot of raping and no one with any sense would consider the Legions or the Vikings effeminate.

        Being good at being a man does not equal being a good man.

        The Shadowed Knight

      2. BuenaVista

        On the way home last night I randomly killed an old lady at the convenience store. I be so masculine!

      3. SFC Ton Post author

        I only kill old ladies for food; that’s why I do my old lady shopping at grocery stores. Bag when they are coming out the front door……

        Seriously, yesterday I saw a pair of old girls in the store with a cart full of those cheap,1/2 gallon hubs of wine and a passel of fruit…. old lady jungle juice. Thought it was pretty fucking cool but they were embarrassed when I said “y’all girls know how to party”

  9. theasdgamer

    On facial hair–when you get to be my age, there’s a lot of white. I look 10-15 years younger when my head is shaved and have no facial hair. Facial hair wouldn’t improve my attraction unless I dyed it. Do I want to spend time doing that?

      1. theasdgamer

        Ok, you convinced me. Though I have to say that a broad my kids’ age told me that I didn’t look very old. Gonna try a stache and goatee.

      2. theasdgamer

        Comments from women so far is that they like the beard. No negative comments about the goat. I’d have to try harder to shave it off, hah. Still popular in my neck of the woods along with the stache and chin wig.

        One woman isn’t sure if the beard makes me look older or younger. That’s what I like! Hamster food.

        The 2nd biggest problem with looks is that women may not want to be seen next to you if you look too good. I got a whole lot of rejections this last Sat. night, maybe because of the beard making me look too good. Danced a lot (five dances) with one beauty where my good looks (if they even exist) wouldn’t cause her to DQ herself.

        So, I may end up losing the beard. I need to get more feedback.

      3. SFC Ton Post author

        LOL see no negative feed back.

        Was out this weekend with a buddy of mine who is a double amputee and a recent beardsmen. He two was surprised about the positive feed back but in his case I think it gives girls something to thing about besides his sticks

      4. SFC Ton Post author

        LOL see no negative feed back.

        Was out this weekend with a buddy of mine who is a double amputee and a recent beardsmen. He two was surprised about the positive feed back but in his case I think it gives girls something to thing about besides his sticks

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      I know it’s the miracle of life and a sign of health so I am ever grateful but it seems like such an odd thing.

      Everyone is happy and healthy (ish… rash of lower extremity inquires here at camp Ton)

      1. Liz

        Yeah! It IS an odd thing, Ton. Hard to believe it’s ‘natural’. But it’s very cool.
        Glad to hear everyone is well. Sorry about the rash though. 😦
        (might be psoriasis?)

      1. theasdgamer

        Name options: Benton (ornery), Winston (political), Marston (astronomical), Brickton (English), and, of course, the redheaded step-child name, Farton.

      2. theshadowedknight

        No, I called it first. Since I was the first, I get to choose the name. Tonspawn, I dubbed the babe, and Tonspawn it shall be. I see all, I know all.

        The Shadowed Knight

    1. theasdgamer

      Ashton (cigar smoker), Barton (alcohol juggler), Upton (aircraft jockey), Winton (athletic superstar), Boston (HNICC–don’t ask me what it means, if you don’t know, I’d have to kill you after telling you–Big Enchilada), Princeton (obvious)

  10. Liz

    Thought I’d share this one here, Ton. A guy on one of the military forums I frequent, regarding the recent shooting. Not sure if you’ve read the same. Sorry it’s OT.

    “A couple other things…

    – The passenger, who we can write a full page on, has been taken in by the BGI handlers as they formulate their layered story. He has only communicated with the press via slick prepared statements… in words noticeably much bigger than he is normally comfortable with. The media has been big on speculation concerning the cop and the situation… but does NOT want to dig too deeply into the backgrounds of anybody else.

    – The car was just bought from a neighbor… or not just bought from a neighbor… depending on if you believe Walter Scott’s story at 0:34 of the dashcam video or Walter Scott’s story at 1:08 of the dashcam video… or it was bought the week before, if you believe the surviving relatives. You might note, any news of this “neighbor”, or the situation with the car, has been glaringly absent. Nobody in the media seems to want to get to the bottom of that story… nor report why they can’t.

    – I asked my friend to run the plates run on this 1990 gray Mercedes-Benz, South Carolina 131-8GG… but he laughed at me, said something profane about me AND my mother, and informed me anybody who dared run that plate would be in jail within the hour. I should add that, except in rare cases like this, your information is practically open to the public regardless of promises or intentions in both the public and private sectors.

    You you don’t realize it… but you don’t have enough tinfoil.

    – In an semi-related incident, cop cars in Tuscon were following a guy who had stolen a car, driven to a Wallmart, stolen a rifle and ammo, and then walked down the street waving the rifle around. On the dashcam of a following cop car, he put the rifle to his own head and then later fired a shot into the air. Suddenly, another cop car came into frame and PLOWED into the guy, sending him into the air, and then blasting through a brick wall.

    Interestingly, the media is semi-praising this as good police work. I can understand the action… but I can’t understand the reaction.

    The cop car got thousands of dollars in damage. There may be thousands more to repair the wall and yards of the civilians. The scumbag will require public-funded medical care. The scumbag will get medical disability after a decade or less of prison. The scumbag may get a settlement of some sort.

    This is a several hundred thousand dollar (or more) problem that should have been a one dollar problem… less with good shot placement.

    Our militarized police all have a black rifle of some sort in the trunk that is EXACTLY the tool for this job… stopping dangerous criminals at a range that reduces danger for the cop… yet they only feel comfortable sloppily running dangerous criminals down with their cars.

    If the cops had shot the guy, the media would have been screaming brutality… or maybe not. The suspect is Hispanic… and the media just doesn’t love them unless they are non-American Hispanics.

    If the guy had been black, he would have been another gentle giant and aspiring rapper just starting to turn his life around… firing harmless warning shots and only threatening himself.

    Oh well.”

    1. theasdgamer

      Liz’s comment reminds me of a line from the 1937 movie, “Double Wedding”, with Robert Powell, “Women don’t like noble, self-sacrificing men. Women are not civilized like we are. They like bloodshed. They like forceful men, like me.” Heh.

      1. Liz

        I have no earthly idea what that has to do with anything in the comment above.
        Who is guy I “don’t like” due to his “the noble self sacrificing” nature?

    2. BuenaVista

      Well, I don’t know what conspiracy he’s hinting at in these two incidents. I do know I love my new black rifle:

      1. BuenaVista

        Beretta .223. The ergonomics sold me. (Everything including the ejection port is reversible, stock folds, and the charging handle is mid-rifle. Son #2 is a southpaw, and I highly doubt these tools will be available when he is liberated.) Piston-driven, not gas blowback. Also I can buy a kit and swap in a .300 Blackout. It’s not flying but it’s fun.

    3. SFC Ton Post author

      Interesting. Clearly an emotional response from someone with no escalation of force training/ common sense
      My response; A White nation and a Black nation and send Hispanics back to their nation of origin or the Black nation.

      Our issues are largely one of demographics. Police are spun up like this in response to black/ hispanic dysfunction. We could return to a largely unarmed police force afterwards.

      The cop hitting the potential shooter was a good call. A shooting would cost more money in th long haul.

      1. BuenaVista

        My understanding is he tased the cop. Doesn’t justify the execution. The cop was not in imminent danger or death or grievous injury from a fleeing man.

      2. SFC Ton Post author

        The cop possibly was if Scot still had the tazer or the cop had a reasonable expectation Scot still had the tazer

        After the tazer is used to fire the darts, it can still be used as a stun gun so it is still a potential lethal threat

      3. Sumo

        The psychological and physiological responses that a person experiences during a high stress situation causes a number of “reactions” that are baffling to most people. Including those who are “trained” to deal with such events. It’s a natural human reaction to see a video and say “oh, he shouldn’t have done that”, but unless one has been through a similar experience, then you simply don’t know what you’re talking about.

        Please understand that this is not a slam against anyone here; I respect and value all of your opinions on a variety of subjects. Unless you have a background similar to Ton’s or my own, then I’m afraid that you’re not sufficiently informed on this matter.

    1. theasdgamer

      Wow, out of left field….

      Just in case you’re referring to the Double Wedding quote–that movie is very Red Pill. Spot on about the nature of women. Liz proved her femininity. :-] My comment wasn’t a put-down of Liz.

      1. theasdgamer

        Oh, Liz was quoting a man from a forum. Still, I assume that she agreed with him. Meh, I’ll withdraw the whole thing unless Liz cosigns that she favored shooting the subject.

      2. Liz

        Forgot to add, gentlemen, you’re welcome. 😛
        (please don’t kick me off your site for making flo jokes, Ton. I’ll try not to do that again)

      3. theasdgamer

        Ton, I needle people of whom I am fond, whether men or women, unless their personality is narcissistic and can’t handle needling, in which case I try to avoid needling them.

        Liz and I have fairly good rapport, I think. (I’m sure that Liz will correct me if she doesn’t agree.) Probably enough rapport so that a little trust has built up–enough to meet up at a bar for a beer with Mike. Don’t think I’d flirt with Liz with Mike around–would seem disrespectful to Mike. Although he might not take offense if it were at a bar or a party. Not sure about the code of conduct at Liz’s parties. Reminds me, I’m very curious about Liz’s parties and the dynamics there. (No, I’m not fishing for an invite, but maybe Liz will share some more stories and describe the code of conduct and breaches thereof and maybe examples of fun, appropriate conduct that might be inappropriate in a different context.)

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