I live a fairly busy life and this is something I would like to do more often. Its one thing to read about various Red Pill truths and another to have real world examples.
Women and apologies. As a rule, women don’t do them. I can think of exactly one honest and forth rite apology from a woman. The rest have came with qualifying statements or were carefully worded to be a non apology apology. Remember saving face/ status in the herd and indirect compunction is the way of women. They also apologize for a different reason then men. When I apologize it is because I did someone wrong which needs to addressed. Justice of a sorts in an unjust world. I say my piece and its done. If it is accepted and things go back to right, all is good. If not, I accept the others decision. When a woman apologizes she wants to keep a useful tool around, feel good about herself and look good for the herd.
Right after my divorce I got into an affair with a married women. A goodly long affair and I did not know she was married. Like we would spend weekends at each others place, do long weekends together etc. Then I am at a random party with some people I know and I hear the women folk gossip about this slut who cheats on her old man like ts her profession. I put two and two together, got something close to 5 and felt right bad. I was fond of the girl, and dumb enough to reckon it was mutually exclusive because she said so and I wasn’t real happy with banging some other dude’s beloved. Shortly after that her life falls apart, she is found out etc and its all in the open. Not about me, I already walked. Dump that bitch and bang 10 more. Any rate, her life is in the shitter and I get a call. She said she wanted to apologize etc etc and that she didn’t mean to hurt a good man. I said its ok, I’m over it and moved on. I could tell by the tone of her voice that she “reached out” to remove her feelings of guilt and feel better about her self. It had nothing to do about feeling bad for the emotional harm she had done to at least two men. Men are mules. I cannot remember her exact words but basically she felt she did no harm because all the men but her ex husband where doing ok. She then asked about grabbing breakfast. I was a no show.
This is how women operate. She gets an “it’s okay” from a a guy and its back see I am not a bad person after all because its been like 90 days and every one is happy now. Its like the past wrongs are erased as soon as the wronged have moved on a little bit. I see this a perversion of God’s Grace, but thats another topic and one I am unsuited detail.
Next female apology I want to discuss is about the lady who accused me of rape. Now she made no legal/ formal charges. She woke up, semi nekkid in my bad, with me full dressed and standing over her telling her she has to get up and go, I have to go to work. 1st words out of her mouth? “Did we have sex? Did you rape me? You raped me!” I threw her cellphone at her and told her to “call the cops, I want a rape kit on your rancid cunt right the fuck now”. Well this scared the shit out her and she stated backing away from the claim. I wouldn’t relent. “call the fucking cops you worthless fucking bitch. Right the fuck now” again and again with her saying over and over again she was sorry etc, knew I wouldn’t rape her, doesn’t know why she would say that etc etc. I ain’t the smartest fella around, but I do posses a low animal cunning so I a recorded it all on my iphone. And I don’t have a flight or fight response. I have a fight or fight response. About an hour later she texts me another apology. She owns up to saying that because she was confused (she got blasted on pills, weed and booze before heading over to my place) and didn’t want this nice guy to know she was banging me. I saved the texts. She is basically begging me not to say anything to anyone, especially her brother who I know from back in the day when I did youth counseling at a local church. In the texts she mentioned remembering me putting her to bed clothed and what not and that she probably took her clothes off while she was still blasted from booze and drugs. I save the text messages, send a copy of them to my lawyer and bail bondsmen and get on with my life
4 months later I get a text from a random phone number saying they owe me $40 and do I want to pick it up. I ask who it is and its the false rape accusation chick, using someone elses phone because I blocked her number. She wants to know if I want the $40 and is angry I blocked her number. I said sure, I’ll stop by your work at noon. She flips her shit. I wasn’t supposed to say yes to the $40. I was supposed to say its ok so she can put all of our nastiness behind us. No I was wrong, I apologize etc. Just you bastard for wanting the $40 and a why can’t we be friends.
Typically I no longer extend any sort of forgiveness toward women. They aren’t recognizing some wrong committed against you. They simply want to go back to feeling like a really good person, even though they did some not good things. Or some really bad things, or a lot of really bad things. Women lie like they breath, natural and easy and they lie to themselves more then anyone else.
Their apologies also have a good deal of keeping mules on stand by. Who knows, they made need something heavy carried out to their car, or they want to keep a spurned beta in rotation for free drinks every now and then or as a back up plan if she is one of those unlucky few who don’t land their billionaire playboy with a heart of gold. If it was truly about recogzing having wronged someone, it would be an honest straight forward affair. “Ton, I apologize for xyz” no qualifying statements like “but you did abc 1st”. There would be the understanding that the words “I am sorry” are not a magic talisman which gets them off the hook and that the damage done doesn’t disappear or that the words magically repaired busted relationships.
Recently a young man I know, and whom I am proud to call friend went through this sort of thing himself, though not to the extent I used for examples. He is a good man with potential waiting to expand and in the process of becoming a man to reckon with. All the building blocks are there. Any rate he rolled up on a chick, she said no thanks, college etc is more important right now. That’s the script, right? School, work some cock sampling, then find a good man. Like said good men grow on trees, free for the picking. Any rate, he asked me why she would make a point of saying good bye and what not before left to start school and he wanted to know why. It had been months since she said thanks but no thanks
There are three reasons why chicks do this shit.
Likely she feels bad about turning down the advances of a good man who is all those things girls say they want, but don’t date until its time to change lanes from the strong independent women exciting life to married mommy etc. Girls know that shit isn’t right, even if they only are vaguely aware of knowing what and why they acting as they are. Any hint of friendless toward her lets her feel ok about herself and off the hook for turning him down. Why do they feel bad about turning them down? Well sometimes women have some small twisted version of a soul and they feel bad about the duality of their nature and the falsehoods they keep alive. Sometimes. Not often though
Girls want to keep that shrinking pool of good men around and believe a quick reach out with some faint air of remorse and a side hug is the correct tactic to do so. It also gives her some small measure of peace because even though she hurt him 3 months ago, its ok now because they hugged. For like 3 whole seconds.
It all boils down to her feeling good about herself; saving face among the herd; preserving a series of fall back men. It has nothing to do with him, making him feel better, recognizing he was wronged or dismissed out of hand for buying into the bullshit she says she wants etc etc. Women tend to think men who believe what they say about what they want in a man are stupid. After all she knows she is full of shit why don’t you? Some few will feel pity most will feel scorn.
As for my friend, he feels like he fucked things up. Its not him who fucked up but the times we are living in. I do better then all right with women and I’ll address that in the next couple of posts but where I am in the world vs my success with women is way out of whack. My friends big mistake? Not being awesomely awesome on every point of some chicks 497 point checklist.
Back to me for a tad bit
I was ridding around Wilmington with Girl#2 a few weeks back. She wants to stop by and check on a friend who recently dumped her chump… I mean boy friend. She is a little down at not finding the kind of man she wants and for a change I think she is pretty realistic about those things and her rank in the SMP. Her big problem is, she lives in an UMC kind of town and she likes masculine men. She was pretty happy with her chump, and for a goodly bit of time but that gnawing discontent set in…. any rate this girl never paid me any never mind until that weekend. She noticed I have big arms, big neck, large chewed up man hands….. I have had those things for the length of time she has known me and its generally what folks comment on 1st. That or my face fur. You could see the appraisal in her eyes as she was making those comments. Plus some extra touching me and herself.
Whats going on here? #1 for awhile she was happy with a good guy who didn’t make here vagina drip but who on paper was a good deal. Now? Now I reckon she wants to cash in on her last few pre wall years to try and land the sort of man she really wants. She wants what she wants, but she is also trying to follow her family’s script. I don’t think there is anything wrong with what she wants vs what her family wants for her, however she is torn between two desires. Neither of which is right or wrong in an of themselves though I question how she goes about it. 70 years ago she most likely wouldn’t have any problems finding a psychically strongman who would make a decent mate. Now…. well now there doesn’t seem to be many men in that in between group.
Also, for some reason, Girl#2 is no longer fond of her friend….
Last on my list, I do a fair amount of bidness out in coastal NC. Through that I am aware of this one chick. Not a bad looking girl for her age, but smoking and drinking and cock sampling is starting to take their toll. And she has done some cock sampling. Seems to me she as fucked a goodly number of the MARSCOC and 2nd RECON dudes in her area of operations. He last cock sampling was a true dark triad kind of guy who has only a nodding acquaintance with anything like honesty and is a professional mid-level drug dealer. She is still way hooked on this guy. A classic alpha widow if there ever was one. She likes rough men who take her in hand and the dark triad fella had her in hand including the occasional black eye and her messing around with him and one of his bitces. Her family cut her off and now she is trying to find a good beta draft horse to lock down and get back into her family’s money… I mean good standing. She is trying to make that lane change from empowered cock carousel rider to housewife. She has her beta. A nice guy who happens to be a cop. She is tearing him up. Shit test after shit test all in attempt to get him to stand up to her. I have no doubt if the cop would throw her on the bed, paint her back porch red, fuck her hard form behind, shoot his load up her ass and clean his junk off in her hair that she would settle in and be a so so girl to have around. He seems to have some rough idea about game and frame but is to big of a pussy to really lay down decent game. Really they are both just fucking each other up for the next person. Her? its to late for her any way. Him? He has potential but I doubt things will work out that way. He’ll be another causality of the gender wars, going his own way why women and tradcons wail about men needing to steep up.
Any rate it is interesting to see shit tests and alpha widow vs beta chump with bad game and weak frame. I feel bad for him though. Once again he would make for a good husband in a better time or with a unicorn, but what are the odds of him finding a unicorn?