My daughter has an employee/ semi friend who walked on her draft horse a while back and is struggling to deal with reality of the SMP. Any rate, I was at her place of bidness for lunch with the beloved She-Ton, when my own flesh and blood ambushed me with a request to break down reality for her very frustrated employee/ semi friend
After some negation, they agreed to buying lunch and 4 vodka/ cranberry’s. Not sure why, but those things go down right when it’s balls hot and sweaty nuts humidity of August in the South.
This is a brief summary
#1) life isn’t fair, dating etc is even less “fair”. Get over it. Dating isn’t, or rather finding someone to date sucks for men and women. Get over it over, focus on what you can effect and controll.
2) almost all women over estimate or under estimate their SMP value. To a very real extent your MMP is even lower because physical attraction drives the whole dating and possible marriage train, then your baggage starts subtracting from your SMP. Dating a girl with debt, kids etc might not be a bad deal. Marrying her is a different equation. A much tougher one.
And by almost all I mean 97% of women over estimate, 2% under estimate and 1% has it right. Maybe.
No your personality doesn’t over come that extra weight, that short haircut doesn’t look good on you, sarcasm doesn’t create boners, it doesn’t matter what your girlfriends think. Unless you are fucking them and that’s a different equation as well
#3) women fail to understand, every bitch breathing wants the same dude; 6 foot or taller, 6 pack abs, 6 figure plus income, advanced degree, nice guy with an edge, who loves babies, can speak a second or third language, handy around the house, 6 inch tongue, 9 inch pecker, talks like Oprah, fuck like a stud horse…. though not to often…. can cook a gourmet meal with one hand and kill zombies with the other all while watching the view
The competition for that dude is fucking ferice. He isn’t going to settle for anything less then an 8 and even then said 8 will have serious Girl Game. Nor does he have any reason to settle for an age adjusted 8. Girls in their early 20’so want to fuck dudes like that too.
Every item a woman removes from her 437 point check list, the more she opens up her dating options.
Only something like 15% of men are 6 foot or taller, only like 4% are 6’2″ or taller.
Only about 12-14% of men have advanced degrees
I have no idea how many men 6 foot or taller have advanced degrees, but you know it’s not the full 15%. You need to pair down your checklist to something which reflects reality if you want to date. Unless you are smoking hot with a great attitude
Those two requirements probably do more to limit a woman’s dating option then anything else…besides being fat. Being fat is the biggest dating limitation a woman can choose
And I am pretty sure most ladies want to bitch about shit with there gal pals vs date decent guys so I doubt we’ll see much reality sink in
Hypergammy keeps women from noticing decent men, and in her mind, turns decent beta dudes in to all sorts of terrible things but reality says those are the kind of men she can realistically pull. The expection to that would be some sort of fetishist and her willing to play along
Most men are not players but women like and keep fucking players so they think every dude is one. They’d rather be hostile to men about men only looking for a hook up then dare regular guys or own up to being a slut
Yes you pretty much need to put out by date 3-5 or he is going to walk. Or he is a chump. Why is he going to walk? He’said been burned before…. that’s right bitches men get burned in the SMP all the time and middle age men or older mostly get burned by single mom’s and mostly by being strung out for a series of dates
Most older men have been pretty soured on dating and take a miminilmist approach to women. And for most men approaching chicks really sucks. Soooooo if he doesn’t get some decent feedback, ie IOI’s he is going to walk. He is trying to protect his emotions just like you are…. which brings us too
#4) women know jack shit about men, what men like, what most men want or what most men experience in the SMP.
This holds women back in a shit ton of ways. Most easy to point out is attitude. Because women have so little regard for men they fail to realise how hostile they are and how off putting they can be
Online dating profiles are mostly horrible, but it’s a target rich environment for this topic. Woman says she likes to travel, man reads….travel at my expense. Most ladies come across as bitchy or money hungry with their ptofiles…. don’t believe me? Go read some
Another example of women not understanding men via online dating is…. messages. Women bitch about men sending short opening messages because they get dozens of hellos. For guys, long custom built messages don’t get any better reply rates then “hey” so why should men bother putting in the extra effort?
No most men don’t read your profile that carefully. Online dating is what the guy does on his lunch break. Men do online because it’s time efficient, large amount of time invested in reading profiles and crafting messages doesn’t improve his success rate so it is unrealistic to expect much of either. Also guys mostly get various version of “no” from women and to be susscesfull, he needs to push a little bit more. For example, the 5 foot 5 guy doesn’t give a shit it says no short men on your profile because if he messaged girls who only liked short dudes he’d never message any girl. He had to stand in the batter’s box and take a swing
You’re at a bar, all dolled up, talking with your gal pals waiting on Mr wonderful to sweep you off your feet and fly you to Paris on his private jet….. what are you and your gal pals talking about? Is it a subject that will set up a bitch vibe the most clueless dork can pick up from a mile away? Want to know the kind of guy who can bust through your snark, bitch shield and the 3 man hating cock blocks you are kicking it with? That’s right…. the dreaded player.
Any rate, an appreciation for how men view the dating experience, how they view the vibe you put out and why they engage in such a low investment manner and adjusting to those realities will put you miles ahead of the competition
The private man challenged women to find one good thing about every man she sees. Sort of an attitude adjustment exercise. It’s one of the best ideas I’ve read. My challenge is….. spend some time trying to understand men are emotional beings that feel paino; try to understand just a tad bit about the masculine side of dating and how being put through the SMP/MMP grinder effects a man’s action in the dating world.