Making of a pua

TR is a long term friend of mine. By long term I mean we have known each other for damn near our whole lives. Way back in the day, he was the kind of guy girls were supposed to want. Decent looking, fun, respectful, church going, not prone to over indulging but no prude either, careful with his money, level headed, big hearted….. all that shit that doesn’t count for much but bitches say they want. We both joined the Army together, we each spent some time in the same Ranger Batt, hell even the same platoon for 3 years until promotions and specialization took us different routes. He got busted up, re-classed into aviation and got out. Then his marriage fell apart and onto the open market he went. And he did pretty well. Took him maybe 3 months to adjust to his new fiscal situation and then he went a courting. Lesser alpha/ greater beta sort of well, never going long without finding an age appropriate 6/7 to settle into an ltr with. And every one of the bitches walked. One chick walked around The 10 month mark she his small business collapsed. The max was 18 months or so. Which was his most recent. One week he is the best man and lover she has known, taking her semi autistic son camping and 4 wheeling, telling him she loves it when he comes in her etc etc and next week (when she went back to college) she is flaking on him left and right. When he called her on it she did all the typical shit, I will always love you baby but I don’t want to be hurt, then she wanted more attention, then she wanted to go out more…… good bye baby I will always love you etc etc.

What a cunt. We all know she meet a bigger better deal. Or her friends not liking him took a toll but that shit about always loving him forever is pure bullshit. If she was capable of doing that she wouldn’t have walked. And that line is what pissed him off. Girls come and go and he knows within a week he’ll be back out and fucking a new chick but the lies add up. Soooo he used her toothbrush to clean his dogs teeth, packed up her shit, told her to pick it all up and went out. From break up to fucking a 5 in 4 hours or less on a Wednesday night.

For the now TR is done being nice to women. How long it will last is anyone’s guess but this shit adds up and is slow to fade. Like I said, I have known TR my whole life. He was never particularly hard hearted but he is now. This past weekend he went out on a blind date. Friends set him up with a rather attractive girl 2 years older then him who still had a flat belly and a decent ass with an ok rack . He had a good time and asked the girl if they could do it again. She said no, I’m 5’9″, wear 3 inch heels and don’t like looking down on my dates. He got up, left her with the bill and went to go find some ass at a bar 2 doors down.

That’s bad ass right there.

I have read small scale debates on whether puas are born or made. My money is on made. Mostly made. No way to really quantify that, it’s all based on observations. I know a few naturals who crushed a lot of ass, then married, some still married some not but the naturals I know have high but not extremely high N counts. Quality women pull them off the market. I know 3 guys who are married with kept women, 2 are older men who wives are over the sex thing but not the high income lifestyle. I know one life time player who was never married. All the other guys I know with high N counts got there because they were high value enough to pull bitches but not so high value the bitches didn’t play games or move on.

49 thoughts on “Making of a pua

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      The smp/ mmp is fucked from every angle but here’s the deal. The “lady” who nexted my friend only made things worse on how she went about it. Odds are good she thinks she did the right thing but all she did was prove herself to be another lying ass hatchet wound and she did that to a man who was ready to commit to her and her son.

      Each failure like that sets up the next failure

      1. Ame

        sadly she validates your statement that women don’t care about their children to let her son spend time with a man and then dump him like that. she’s screwing the man and her kid. pathetic.

        especially during my dark years when i was a single mom, if i was told once, i was told a thousand times, “You’ve gotta take care of yourself. Get out. Do something just for you.” not once did anyone tell me to make sure my kids were cared for first. not once.

        i ignored all that ‘advice’ believing that God would take care of me knowing He held me responsible for caring for my kids. so i took care of my kids. now my kids try to take care of me and are fiercely devoted to me – don’t mess w/their Momma, my girls will take you out! that’s not why i cared for them; i had no way to see into the future then. but i cared for them first because that was my job, my role, my responsibility.

      2. SFC Ton Post author

        You’re alright darling

        Apparently the bitch who dumped my man thinks he is an asshole because he won’t take her son on a camping trip they were playing

        I am too drunk to do the math on that one

    2. thedeti

      The sexual revolution revealed men’s base sexuality. Women got to see for the first time what men do at their base core – fuck everything that moves, and refuse to get married. It also revealed that men rise up to what they’re called to do. So if all you expect from them is base sexuality, that’s what you get. If you give them nothing to live for, nothing to accomplish, and no life mission, that’s what you get – nothing, no accomplishments, no mission. If a girl never sees her mom respecting her dad, that’s what that girl does – refuse to respect men, and in particular, her man.

      This makes it very hard for a woman to respect her man.

      The sexual revolution also revealed women’s base sexuality. Men got to see for the first time what women do at their base core – that when their sexualities are triggered they become utterly sexually depraved and will do ANYTHING with and for a man they’re sexually attracted to. That women won’t have the kinds of sex with their husbands that they will have with men who won’t commit to them. It also revealed that women are anything but sugar, spice and everything nice – that they can be the worst superbitches in the world when unrestrained, they will lie and cheat to get what they want, and they can and will be verbally and even physically abusive.

      This makes it very hard for a man to love his woman. It makes it impossible for a man to love women in general.

      1. Love

        The Deti, I agree with everything you say but why call it sexually depraved? Yes, women will reveal and act on their innate sexual desires with someone they’re sexually attracted to. But how is that depraved? Obviously it is who they are. If they are not committing adultery or cheating on a partner, why are their sexual acts labeled as perverted and corrupt?

      2. thedeti


        “Depravity” in this context just means uninhibited and without reference to any kind of moral code or base. It also is a reference to the false pictures women portray to the world about their sexuality – prim, proper, good, noble, high minded, of high purpose. It isn’t. When unrestrained and in the presence of a man she’s sexually attracted to, her sexuality is base, uncaring, manipulative, selfish, self centered, and focused solely on securing alpha sperm for reproduction and for fun with no reference at all to even the next day, much less next year or five years from now.

      3. SFC Ton Post author

        Legit Deti. Its the covert nature of how women operate that makes men jaded. I think. No polling data but I think it’s a fair guess

      4. Love

        Thanks Deti. I understand now. And yes, you’re absolutely right on the manipulative manner some women use their sexuality. Unfortunately these women are not doing for the pure pleasure of the act but rather as you said “to secure alpha sperm”. I’ve heard some females discuss how they ‘land /hook in’ their men by certain sexual acts. Its funny hearing them think they now ‘own’ the guy because they’ve done such and such. Even more interesting is how they don’t completely do the sexual act – and instead find ways around it, but trick the guy into thinking they’re doing it.

      5. SFC Ton Post author

        Yup and how they think they can hook men via certain sex acts and which sex acts they think they can lock a man in with

        Could educate a lot of men

      6. Love

        Ok but please excuse the graphic detail. You can reword it and post it in your own words. One way they believe they lock it in is by giving oral pleasure and swallowing their release. However they do not swallow. They only pretend. They either let it dribble down their mouth or keep it in their mouth and then spit out when he’s not looking.

      7. Ame

        this does not surprise me. women are born with the ability to manipulate men. this does not always have to be a negative but often becomes a tragic negative when they’re never trained or taught how to use it wisely.

        i’ve talked to my girls about this over the years and will teach it to them more. they learned it young with their dad. they knew it wouldn’t always work, and they knew that if they overused it, it would become ineffective.

        just today my oldest and i were having a conversation about places she’d love to visit in france. their dad had promised to take them anywhere in the world they’d like to go when they graduated from high school as a graduation gift, but he hated france and the french; with a passion he hated them. he hated whenever he even had to fly over french air space. but my girls knew that if that was what they really, really wanted, he would do it for them.

        learning one’s abilities and how to use them properly and well serves one well in their life, including a woman’s ability to greatly influence a man.

        however, what we’re seeing with un-managed women who have no boundaries and none even remotely enforced, is widespread abuse of their natural abilities to influence men. men are seeing it, and, sadly, all women will pay the price in one way or another.

        – – –

        years ago with when i had my previous blog i came across a guy who slept around on his wife a lot when he traveled. he mentioned once that the women he met while traveling were always so nice and listened to him like they cared – he said it like it was a surprise to him … that these women really listened and really cared about him. as a woman i can tell you that what these women did/do is easy. a no-brainer. it used to be that only women in the sex industry used this so freely because ‘good’ women were managed well under their husbands and fathers and by the mores of society. now, all rules are gone, and women cannot be trusted.

        you can think back to say 100 years ago … and a wife wanted something from her husband … like a new dress … or a new couch … or to take a family vacation … or to let their child do something. so she would fix him his favorite meal, give him a great night in bed, and the next morning after a great breakfast ask him for what she wanted. nothin wrong with that. of course he knew she wanted something, but he was grateful that she was willing to do something for what she wanted.

        now … women feel like they have some stupid thing to prove – they want to prove they can control and manipulate a man, so of course they’ve learned that swallowing makes a man feel like she really cares – women’s ‘locker room talk’ is rampant. she can get that ‘advice’ anywhere. faking it is easy. lying has become her nature. she has nothing invested and nothing to loose – until she crashes thru the wall and no one wants her anymore. by then it’s too late for her b/c all those men she and her girlfriends dumped and trampled along the way? they’ve learned. like Ton’s friend. and they don’t even want to grab the popcorn and watch her childish show. they’d rather walk out, leave her with the check, and get a younger chick for a few hours, then get a good night’s sleep.

      8. SFC Ton Post author

        Can’t say I fully disagree but your missing something Deti and I can’t point out what.

        I think the big take away is shit like this is why greater betas and up play the field. Women pull pitch and can’t even do that in a forthright and honest manner. Then they have to ruin good men when they are done with him to justify their actions.

      9. thedeti

        Love, Ton:

        Another thing that makes me call women’s sexuality “depraved” is what Christian women will do and about their sex drives.

        Christian women know very well what Christian sexual morality is. They know what it requires. And many of them will profess at Church and to “Christian” men all manner of primness and propriety. They are devout. They serve the Lord. They do what the Lord asks. They do what the Word says.

        But every Christian woman I’ve ever known or talked to about these things is perfectly willing to ignore the Word when it suits them. Every Christian woman I’ve ever known is perfectly willing to toss her Christian morals out the window when she’s with an attractive man who’s pushing all the right buttons. Every Christian woman I’ve ever known will enthusiastically, greedily, hungrily and insatiably have sex with a man she’s sexually attracted to, married or not, married TO HIM or not. Many Christian women I’ve known have cheated on their husbands with more attractive men.

        I knew this pastor and his family. They had three sons. He was an associate pastor at my church when I was growing up. His plain looking but very nice wife had a one off affair with a guy from a neighboring town. It wasn’t talked about much. It was routinely blamed on the man. Everyone said he borderline raped her. She ended it quickly and she and her pastor husband are still married.

        Rape? Bullshit. She got in the presence of a man who pushed all her buttons and made her feel things she hadn’t felt in years, if she’d ever felt them at all. She had sex with the man, enthusiastically, and loved it, because he was so sexually attractive to her. She gave in to the tingle.


        She tossed everything she said she believed in out the window. Her Christian morals meant LESS THAN NOTHING to her in the moment. Her commitment to her husband, her children, her family, everything she’d worked for and set up? Her vows to her husband, the promises she made to him? Her submission to God? NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, next to getting sex from an attractive man.

        That, folks, is depravity. And women do this all the time. ALL THE TIME. Do men do this? Sure. The difference is that we expect men to act depraved. Everyone tells us women NEVER EVER EVER do this. Women never cheat, never lie, never toss out their firmly held convictions. Never. But that’s not true at all. Women do this as much as, if not more than, men do. Women can be and are just as depraved.

      10. Love

        Absolutely Deti. Women can be just as depraved as men. Some may be even more so. I’m not a Christian women but understand that a woman’s loyalty should be only to her husband and she should put him above all else. Yet I’ve also never been married, so it would be unfair of me to judge these women. I have not walked in their shoes. Do women cheat because of tingles or a need for an identity or just because? I don’t know. The married ones I’ve spoken to have said they no longer are viewed as sexual beings but as wives and mothers. The ones who admitted to cheating said it made them feel alive and like a woman again. One thing I have noticed is the ones that spew the most hate and throw stones at other women are actually the most depraved. Like throwing stones in a glass house.

      11. Ame

        Love, if a woman is attractive before she’s married, she’ll still be attractive after she’s married. i’d guess that most women who are at least decently attractive will have opportunities to cheat on their husbands. i have had opportunities to cheat in both my marriages. it is wise for a woman to recognize this and prepare for it and to put active plans in place to keep herself from going there.

        sadly, Deti’s right. Christian women know better but give in all.the.time. not ALL, but certainly many. it’s wrong for the church to paint women as pure and men and depraved – not just wrong, but criminal, really, b/c it’s a total lie. women are just as depraved as men and always have been. society and cultural mores kept them in line in the past. now, if they don’t have some strong sense of right and wrong or something within that is stronger than their depravity, they will likely fail.

        fwiw – those who remain faithful through all the seasons of life can find much reward in their marriages after the children leave the nest.

      12. Love

        That makes sense Ame. I assume once a wife has cheated on her husband then she no longer respects him in the same manner.

      13. Ame

        Love, she cannot respect him ‘in the same manner’ ever again b/c she put the affair between them, and once done, it cannot be removed. ever. ever. she has to take total responsibility for the affair and the loss of respect.

        i was married 20 years my first marriage and have been married 8+ this marriage. (my first was serially unfaithful and a sociopath). i was faithful to my first husband, and i have been faithful to the man i’m married to now. i will tell you some things you probably won’t hear often.

        – you won’t always ‘feel’ in love with your husband. love him anyway.
        – no one can incense you more than your husband. forgive him, and love him anyway.
        – you won’t always want to have sex with him. do it anyway.
        – your feelings and emotions will fluctuate. expect it. choose to remain steadfast in your choices and in your mind regardless of your feelings and emotions.
        – even if you’re in a bad marriage, you still have no excuse *not* to remain faithful.
        – even if you’re in a good marriage, you still have no excuse *not* to remain faithful.
        – your mind can deceive you into believing anything about anyone. there will always be the truth and the lie, and you get to choose which you believe. however, what you choose will never change what is truth and what is lie. be wise. choose truth.
        – with extremely rare exception, whatever women try to get other women to believe negatively about their husband is a lie or at best severely distorted, so she’s still lying.
        – it is easy to manipulate your mind into believing whatever you want to believe. again, choose the truth and stick to it regardless of how you feel.
        – love is a choice. faithfulness is a choice. feeling all lubby dubby about your man is a choice. make the choice.
        – there will be seasons where you feel closer to your man than others. expect it. get through it. one of my close friends and her husband of 30 years call it being ‘out of sync’ … they’ll look at each other and one will say, “We’re out of sync right now, aren’t we.” the other will agree. and they’ll get through it. it is a season. it will end. life happens.
        – you can’t always choose what comes into your mind, but you sure as heck can choose what stays there. don’t let your mind dwell on another man or the perceived excitement of an affair. affairs end and bring a wake of destruction with them, including your own respect which will be gone. you will never be able to have that same respect ever again.
        – habits are easy to form and can become dull … shake it up. spice it up. take responsibility.
        – good, faithful marriages do not just happen. they’re intentionally made.

      14. Ame

        Thank you. I am humbled.

        I confess i’m not perfect in all the above, but it is my goal.

        a little funnee:
        there are times my husband irritates me – not a lot, but a little, and i’ll roll my eyes. then my girls will look at me with a smirk and say, “Well, Mom, you married him!” translate: suck it up, Mom, and don’t be stupid!

        (note – he loves to ‘get me riled up’ 🙂 )

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      How so? Not that I disagree. I wouldn’t get that involved myself. I don’t trust women enough to stick around so I know I would be setting the boy up for failure but my man was damn close to asking this girl to move in with him, so to most of the ltr world he was on the right path but that ain’t how the world works.

      And I have meet the boy. He ain’t that far off top dead center but he does need more….. I don’t fucking know what he needs but he needs something. I do think if she stuck it out she would have seen her son return to a more healthy frame of mind.

  1. Major Styles

    Men are ones that usually adhere to moral obligations (i.e. becoming the surrogate father to an autistic child). I’ve seen many men – myself included – who stayed in a bad relationship out of a sense of duty.

    I’ve noticed that most women do not have the same sense of moral duty. Invariably, they follow their own self-interest. And yet, they habitually paint the self-interest as have a moral impetus.

    Perhaps men should follow a woman’s lead in this regard: i.e. do what is in their best interest. If that was the case, your friend would not be helping out this woman’s child…he’d be getting a “rub’n’tug” on Pattaya beach.

    1. SFC Ton Post author

      Legit points. My friend didn’t get involved with her son until they were a couple for 10months. Which seemed prudent to me but men must understand doing right by a woman won’t keep her around

  2. BV

    I think naturals learn as early as high school that all women are available, or at least are fantasizing about being available (their behavior around men they like is the same). So they are not made. But most men have to take the redpill to see through the pretty lies we’re all taught as boys, and then undertake a reset in how they deal with women. That doesn’t make us PUAs, but it does teach us what is really going on.

    I was out of the country for six weeks, during which time I got to go the hospital, so I was very pleased to get home and I really wanted to see a friend I’ve known for 9 years. I hadn’t seen her by mutual agreement for almost two years (she’s on marriage #2). She immediately made herself available (well, after two hours of conversation). She is on probation for life, her husband is a passive-aggressive wus, she’s a terrible liar, so I declined. I just wanted to see her because I was on a respirator in January and I’m not a tough guy like the Ton.

    Back when we were lovers there were major challenges for me because she’s very naive sexually, and self-centered (like girls were when we were in college or thereabouts). She wanted to talk about that when we saw each other. Generally, I think it’s tacky to discuss other women with another woman — violates the ‘no kiss and tell’ rule — but she insisted.

    I walked her through my experiences since my divorce, leading up to meeting her. And she was pie-eyed, dumbstruck. “No, darling, it’s mainstream behavior. You’re the one who is off the centerline.” She would probably agree with “Love” that a BJ is a big deal, but these days that’s just a good night (or good afternoon, in my experience) kiss — on the first date. Maybe a brief diversion if you’re in a bar.

    I think there’s a major, competitive impulse behind female sexual behavior; I even see them competing with each other openly in public to be transgressive. I would hate to see a transcript of what she discusses with girlfriends. I wouldn’t use Deti’s term “depraved” except in a Christian context, and even then I’m uncomfortable because I think there’s already Someone who has the charge of pronouncing who is, and is not, mortally sinful. (My ex- had an affair with the married Episcopal priest at our church, so I am not speaking idly.)

    Well, we had a good visit and ended it relatively clean-handed. As we were leaving her yoga studio she told me about her recent plastic surgery and admitted to her botox injections. (I didn’t notice, but then I am smitten and so she looks to me as she did when I met her in 2009.) Her husband is sexually moribund, which is about as polite as I can describe it. And she told me about her pending trip to some yoga retreat in India, for a month. I think everyone can put 2&2 together on all that.

    1. Ame

      I was on a respirator in January

      wow. sorry to hear that. hope whatever caused it is gone, and it won’t come back 😦

      She would probably agree with “Love” that a BJ is a big deal, but these days that’s just a good night (or good afternoon, in my experience) kiss — on the first date. Maybe a brief diversion if you’re in a bar.

      i’m … ummm … with Love on that!

      my bff helped a friend’s daughter plan her wedding, etc, when her friend was out of the country, so my friend and the daughter became close. this topic came up one day between them … how there’s a before Bill Clinton and an after Bill Clinton with those … that when we were growing up it wasn’t something that was at least publicly common. and the daughter was stunned, she said, “Really? That’s just a good-night kiss! Not that I ever did that, but … ” (LOL)

  3. BV

    Yeah, I need a dog, but I need to move out to a farm because I’m not walking around a dog with little blue bags in my hand.

  4. Pingback: Women don’t ever want to be “Just friends” | sfcton's Blog

  5. Oscar C.

    Yes, PUAs are usually made.

    I have been reading manosphere stuff for a while now and I identify a series of common patterns. Usually we are talking about very proud men who have not had a lot of success with women but always suspected some other guys were, and were willing to work hard to obtain it. I am talking about people like Krauser, Tom Torero, etc.

    At the risk of doing some projection of myself, I would say that the people who are attracted by the Red Pill are also logical and with a certain degree of intellectual curiosity. Introverts are probably overrepresented. A preference for hard-nosed realism is also there. What matters is the truth, no matter how ugly (hence the overlap with alt-right themes once sees over at Château Heartiste).

    Finally, as a Millennial (born in the late 80s), I think sexual failure is today more acutely felt than previously was, both because of lack of any real want and media influence. I am not American but my upbringing as a single kid was typical middle class, and although my parents never spoilt me I never lacked anything either. Add the movie and TV message of sex as almost a given in your late teens, early 20s and you are set for some serious anxiety when it finally does not materialize.

    Men from previous generations would of course want sex as well but I think it would not be so important in terms of validation as it is today. That’s where PUA is coming from in my opinion. That and the fact that (hot) women are feral these days. I have the feeling that mere “traditional” masculinity is no longer enough, and PUA fills that.


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