Category Archives: Camping

Young men know nothing

Don’t know if “they” put something in the water or if I look like easy prey but lately young men have been challenging me left and right.

Lucky for me they don’t know a fucking thing.

It started a while back when some young millennial/ older gen Z dude wanted to play the handshake of death game. Which earned him my you’re a dumb ass look, he grinned and I put my full man strength into it.I crushed down hard enough he tried to get away. I held on until I was done.

Then some dumb ass in a new’ish naturally aspirated Charger tried his luck aginst my 71 mach 1. Spoiler alert, dodges are heavy, slow and don’t hook up well. Would have been worse for him if I was in my 04 terminator but the take away here is 2 fold…. #1) dodges suck ass #2) it takes money to go fast, old men have money. He whined like a little bitch but he did pony up the money.

I went to help a young man get his service body truck out of a ditch. He pulled over, got them right side wheels in a small but muddy as fuck ditch and all them wheels would do is spin. I asked if he needed help etc and he said yes but didn’t think my truck would pull him. Told him something like “$20 says under 20 mims”. He laughed, I shoved some 2×4’s under his wheels and they did shit. 18 mins left….. Out came the fiddle snatch blocks and a couple of his traffic cones. I walked away with $20 and new friend. He’s a goodman man. Young and somewhat dumb but a good man. 24 years old, a diesel mechanic in the national guard, went to community college for it too, and now an on the road service tech. Making good money, a good wife, a fat baby boy who makes a lot of noise. Very pleased to have him around but this weekend he wanted to test my strength at the bbq I was throwing. Once again I took his 20 bucks.

Through him I meet another young man. A guy who thought he could out fish me. On my fucking pond! $100, dawn to dusk, by total catch weight. Asked him what rules we were working with and his only stipulations were no boat, one rod. He showed up with a rod, his own gear and bait etc etc. I showed up with a trout line, 5 fishing yo-yo’s and a couple of pool noodle float rigs. He wasn’t real happy about that but young men know nothing

Across the way is two brothers living on the same plot of land. They are industrial control electricians, learned their trade on aircraft carriers , working in the same plant togther and pooling their resources to get their own horse operation going. They grew up doing team roping and want their own place to train. They are serious young men and their place is going to be legit. We got to talking about some trees they wanted removed but they didn’t have a chainsaw big enough and didn’t want spend serious cash to drop 3 trees. I told them we could pull them down with their truck. They called bullshit and they were probably right, their dodge probbaly couldnt. Any rate after about 3 mins of shit talking I was over at their place with my truck, my rigging and cellphone. Used the cellphone to FaceTime my tree guy, who talked us through the rigging and down came 2 out of the 3. I couldn’t set the rigging for the 3rd tree. We chainedsawed some of it, used a guide rope and a different kind of pulley and pulled it down. Barber chaired the shit out of it but we weren t close enough to worry about that. Haven’t figure out how to remove that stump but that’ll happen one day.

I like these young men, well not the asshole who thought he could out fish me and he don’t come around here no mo but the brothers and the diesel mechanic are are good to go.

The problem is they don’t know anything. They are smart enough dudes, and have their shit togther for young men. The mechnic is over all the time, helping me when I’m doing projects around Camp Ton, the brothers never fail to help The Girls when I’m on the road or on some other project. And they are handy young men, capable with tools, home repairs, keep their trucks on the road with their own hands etc. but folks these days don’t learn how to do things. We live in a wealthy, techincally advanced society, which is a full on blessing. These young men grew up rural/ small town america and not in the best of times economically speaking but they didn’t grow during a time where harvesting food was crucial. They arent “privileged” etc in the way my younger children and grandchildren will be but they grew up in a society where cellphones can get you a tow truck and credit means most folks can “afford” to buy speciality tools they don’t use often and can swing the very occasiaonl tow bill…… they bitch about it but most folks drive really new vehicles and don’t ever need a tow truck.

These young men aren’t lesser. What they don’t know is because older men didn’t teach them, and older men haven’t taught them because for two generations now, wealth, technology and increasingly urbanization of america means you can get by just fine without knowing these old school tricks of the trade but knowing these old school tricks of the masculine trade will earn you much status among men with useful skills and it’s tricks like that will help an older man keep his alpha cred as his body decays and technology passes him by

Vehicle recovery operations

Vehicle recovery operations….. The back story to this post is helping a guy help a guy get his luxury SUV out of the sand. Not even sure of the brand of the SUV. They aren’t my thing and forgein shit really ain’t my thing but it was 4wheel drive and shouldn’t have gotten stuck. Which brings me to my main point

Don’t get stuck. Easier said the done? Nope. Learn a little about off roading and don’t do dumbshit. I don’t rock climb or go mudding which are different critters entirely but I also don’t get stuck very often because I don’t do dumb shit and I have never needed help getting out of the shit I got myself into. Fact is I get down this stretch of beach in 2 wheel drive so the SUV should have made the trip. Main reason he failed? Lack of experience. The driver had never been off road before, had all the air in his tires, tried to cross the little mini berms other trucks made before him instead of following a proven route because he didnt like how the tire groves messed with his steering and when he got stuck he stomped on the throttle, causing the wheels to spin and dig down deeper for nothing.

Guy #2 had a jeep which was more show then go. It was 4wheel drive, had some extra lift and bigger tires so the sand was no problem but he had a small winch. Not to small just for the much heavier SUV but just to damn small for much of anything. Why? Because he didn’t understand how friction adds weight to the load. In practical terms at any rate. Friction from sand adds about 25% to the weight of your truck, mud adds 50% or more. Mud can be some nasty shit and has stopped more then one army over the years.

Outside of being a Vet and knowing where to go for the information, the army does a damn good job of explaining certian things. One of their better reads is FM 20-22….. Vehicle recovery operations. You can find it online easy as pie. Hell TC 21-305 will even cover the basics of off road driving and I promise you, unless you off road as a sport, the basics and common sense is all you need

Make sure you put your truck in 4wheel drive before you need it. Its pretty standard to let 2/3’s of the air out of your tire before you drive on sand or mud. I don’t let air out myself, but I have aggressive off road tires on my truck and a shit ton of experience. I do carry an air pump you plug into the cigarette liter, but even better I know where to get air a mile or three from where I camp and fish. A few miles of slow speed driving on hard top roads while low on air won’t hurt. Much.

The best thing you can do if you are stuck is stop. The more you try to fight out of it the worse the problem will get. Stop soon enough and you can shove branches or 2×4’s under the tires and away you go.

I carry some 2×4’s in my truck(6). I have holes drilled into them so I can tie them to each other and them to the truck. Last time I got stuck was because I went through some heavy clay/ mud before trying to drive up a rather long sand hill. The tread was full of clay and I got no traction in the sand. Once my forward progress stopped, I stopped, put the 2×4’s under my tires, tied the the boards to each other, them to my truck and off I went. To the top of the hill, dragging the 2×4’s behind me. Which is handy so you don’t have to go back and get them. Don’t get much simpler then that

Next on my list of gear is a Hi-lift jack. . Ain’t nothing but an old school tractor jack but they are rugged as fuck and can be used as a come along too. If I got stuck deeper then the 2×4’s would do for, I’d jack up my truck, then stick the wood under the tires and drive out of it.

My least favorite method is winching. It’s a pain in the ass. I have a 12,000 pound military grade hydraulic winch. It’s a fucking beast. It’s also over kill but I got the damn thing for free so what the hell…. plus nothing works better then over kill. Any rate I have a 6000 pound truck, and realistically don’t need anymore then a 9000 pound winch, weight of my truck plus 50% extra for friction caused by mud or sand. A 9000 pound winch will do everything you need to do… plus I am fixing to teach you how to cheat and double that. Buy a 9000 pound electric winch, read up on it and follow the duty cycle when you use it…. duty cycle is the work vs rest time for the electric motor in the winch

Not only is 9000 pounds enough winch to solve your problems, it’s easy to support regarding rigging. You can find 10,000 pound shackles, wire rope, chain and tow straps with ease at anything like a tractor supply store. I have 4 shackles on my truck, 2 front and 2 back to hook up to if I need to winch myself out of something. Use 10,000 pound shackles to match your 9000 pound winch without worrying to much about shit breaking. Don’t ever attach a winch cable to two points on your truck. You’ll stretch your trucks frame which ain’t good. I would put two 10 foot lengths of 10,000 pound chain in your truck. Make sure each length of chain has grab hooks on each end…. grab hooks which will grab the chain itself. I’d also get a goodly length of 10000 pound eye to eye nylon strap. This gives you options on what you tie off to.

Now…. here is how you ccheat your winch into doubling it’s capacity….. The word is Snatch Block which will double your pulling capacity through the magic of mechanical advantage…. that FM 20-22 will explain the how and the why of it but basically it allows you to add a second line of wire rope off your winch to give you a combined pulling power of 18000 pounds. Fuck you mud! But this is where that warning about never hooking up a winching cable to two places on your truck. That 18000 pounds of pulling will fuck up your frame

How to use the snatch block…. well you set up your winch anchor point…. which is any damn thing you would use to tie into to so the winch can do it’s magic. Then instead of hooking your winch up to the anchor point you hook the snatch block to the anchor point, run your wire rope through the snatch block and back to ONE of the shackles on your truck. 18000 pounds of pulling power. Now some folks will make the case that you only use a snatch block when you need the extra force. To that I say… fuck no snake. Use that bitch every time.

Out there on your own and no truck or big ass tree to use as an anchor point? Get something like this

Personally I love this kind of shit and camping, off roading etc is easier to get into then a lot of stuff out there but I also think these sort of things are entry level man card shit…. old school knowledge damn near every man use to know. It’s the kind of toxic masculinity shit that makes vags drip and soy boys feel even worse about themselves

Ranger the fuck up my friends