Category Archives: cooking

Easy Rider; 30 days in the wind and under the sky

Well I am planning my next ride. Not my most challenging ride ever so I am being slack on the planning but this post should help folks who are sort of new to long distance ridding or camping or the combination of both.

I want to do 30 days under the sky, the bike (and sidecar) dog and me. This will be a proof of concept test ride for my trip to Alaska next year. I will meet up with a couple of friends, test out the gear, see how things go with the dog and side car plus route recon ie explore some areas so I won’t get sidetracked when I do the Deadhorse AK  run, tryout some camping spots, meet some guys who own bike shops along the route in case I have problems etc etc.

I have done some hard ridding over the years, and loved setting out with nothing much more then a saddle roll, a gun, pocket full of cash and a toothbrush stuff into my boot top. I took a great deal of pride in ridding coast to coast with limited gear or old-school gear our great-grandfathers would have used. The wear and tear has added up and I got to start throttle back some so I can stay on the road longer. Plus Alaska is a no shit kind of ride and I want to ensure my gear is good to go and comfortable for 11000 miles, round trip.

The 1st thing I tend to before rolling out on long rides like this is the bike. If I had a particular destination in mind I would start with route selection, but I’ll be mostly fucking off on this ride.  I keep my bikes in good working order and all I needed for this trip was new break pads. Because I ride often I understand how long tires and breaks last given my bike and ridding style.  Because I ride almost daily, the battery stays charged and healthy. All my lights work, all oils, break and clutch fuild checked out fine, both in quantity and quality. I tightened every mounting bracket and hardware I could get a tool one without removing the tank or fairing. Anything that was loose got some thread locker to help keep things in place. I also readjust my highway pegs. They always slip on long rides and I want to start off in the most comfortable position.

Next I look at my tools. Normally I am a tool snob but snobbery is wasted on roadside tools. These things stay in my saddle bags for months at a time. Typically they don’t come out of their bags unless I am cleaning them for a road trip. They all got a nice WD40 bath/ rub down. I carry a toolkit I picked up from Cycle Gear  for $40. I use to cary a lot more tools but bikes have improved, a lot and so has my tool skillz and my thinking. Fact is you only need a few tools to help get yourself back on the road, and the more experience you aquire the easier it becomes to get by on less. My tools are in small zip lock bags, and then placed into customs tool bags designed to fit into some of the dead spaces of a Harley’s saddle bag. They look like “L”‘s and i bought them at a bike rally years ago. These are nice because space is at a premium on a bike. There are a lot of small, clever items like that out there for biked, especially Harleys. I have a small electrical repair kit, wire, fuses, circuit tester and some bulbs. There are fuel cans designed to fit into the dead space of a Harley’s saddle bag. In theory they hold a gallon of fuel, I figure it’s more like. 8 gallons when you figure in spillage but I have one in each saddle bag plus a quart of oil in each bag and a small, unopened bottle of DOT 5 break fuild, which for me takes care of both the clutch and breaks. 1.6 gallons of fuel extends my range by 45+ miles. Not to many places in the lower 48 where you are more then 45 miles from gas or help.

Because I ride often, I get the maximum life out of my batteries but I still cary one of those portal jump start boxes. Any one of us can leave the lights on over night and drain our battery. No point be stranded when $80 will get you back on the road if you do something dumb.

By far the most common problems I see on long trips is shit falling off bikes and tires. People tend to strap shit everywhere on these long trips. I bring a goodly number of zip ties in a variety of sizes, plus duct tape and electrical tape. I bring 3 ways to repair and inflate tires. The most simple is fix-a-flat. You can find small bike size cans of it on the interwebz. I bring two tire patch kits, two -45 gram size cans of compressed air, two cans of fix-a-flat and a small air compressor that plugs into the cigarette lighter on my bike. I keep the fix-a-flat handy but it’s all cross loaded between the  bags.

I always cross load my gear so loosing a bag or something loosing it’s water resistant seal or a bag opening up on the road and dumping its contents while I ride or any number of things won’t leave me zero balance on something important.

I also keep a set of frog togs for riding in bad weather on my bike, two cords to charge my phone/ tablet, WD40, JB weld, super glue, thread locker, roll of quarters, 3 hondos stashed in 3 different places, two lighters, ear plugs, ear buds, baby wipes, sun block, rubbers, spare set of sunglasses, two sets of clear eye protection, pair of smart wool socks, baby powder and more zip lock bags. Just about everything goes into a zip lock bags before being packed into a weather resistant bag. Double the water proofing. Ever and always double down on water proofing your shit

One of the reasons I suggest Harleys to folks is the support gear that goes with them. I have a set of these that pair up with the fuel cans. Very helpful product. Easy to get in and out of your saddle bags even after you pack a lot of shit into them. Something like this let’s you keep all manner of small stuff handy. Like chapstick, sun block and bolts to throw through windshields. My least favorite way to add extra storage but they are helpful. These sit on top of the saddled bags. They look like ass but are hella convient, easy on and easy off.  I keep stuff I need quickly or stuff I need everyday in these bags. Fix-a-flat, socks, toothbrush etc and stuff I want to take indoors with me if I am saying in hotels or with friends. Two easy quick connect fasteners and off you go with the shit you need for a night or two. My camping stuff goes into one these, with the tent and sleeping bag rolled up and stuffed into the bag on top.

I use a homemade version of this to hold my tablet to the gas tank. Again, looks ugly, works like a boss, putting my map/ navigation and music within easy reach. Use to be back in the day you had to stop to read your map, or write your exits numbers and milage on your tank with a grease pencil. Now you look down and there is a 10 inch, live update map, turn by turn directions and local weather reports courtesy of Google, not to mention Molly Hatchet pouring out your speakers .

I have a lot of storage on my bike and yet space is a major factor when camping off a bike, even more so when you plan on staying out for 30 days. A lot of shit will happen in 30 days, some you can predict. Some you cant. Somethings will certinaly happen, but you can’t predict when. Like when you will get rained on. You need to pick gear that will cover more then one oh shit or you will consume your space in no time. I will have the side car, but that will be full of dog and dog stuff. Normally how you pack, with the weight evenly disturbed is an important factor as well, but the side car makes it less so.

The number one way to save space is to cut down on the clothes your bring. Which means buying a new shirt and new pair of socks every few days or doing a small load of laundry every few days, or getting really fucking nasty. Or some combination of all three. Well I don’t wear underdraws so that will save space. I will  be wearing under armor shirts and socks ie $$$ so that will mean laundry every few days or smelling really, really bad. Body order and wood smoke gets rank. I’ll probably do laundry every 4th day. Which means packing 4 pairs of socks, 2 extra shirts (one long sleeve, one short sleeve) and one pair of gym shorts for when I am washing my britches. Weather can vary a lot during this time of year but not so much I need to bring a lot of winter gear. Once again it will be under armor stuff, this time the long John type. That plus ridding leathers, gloves and a pair of smart wool socks will get the job done and then some.

Ps don’t forget the shower shoes

Part two will cover the camping gear I plan on bringing, how I will eat and drink and sleep.

 

 

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Keep on trucking

I don’t normally write much about long-term life with women. Mostly because my marriage was a train wreck and I have had more success pulling chicks and nexting bitches then keeping them around but things with The Girls have been going well for awhile now. Even after this last meat grinder of a year. I can’t recall the last anything resembling a shit tests and when things looked their worst this year, The Girls never wavered. They never bitched when our budget was cut by more then half, they never got pissy when I hit the road to clear my head. No second guessing. No nagging or pitty parties.

That’s a new experience for me. Times past, women added stress. From the beginning The Girls have made it a habit to talk about me in the 3rd person as if I am not there. Its always amused me. When The Girls talk about me/ us etc it’s no longer about how masculine I am, or how I am an asshole or impossible to live with or how could they both love an asshole so much etc etc

These days the Girls mostly mention how much fun they have with me. I am not sure why the evolution in their discussions but it has been an interesting change, one I didn’t notice until recently. Could a sense of shared adventure be key to LTR success? One would think I started out fun then became an impossible to live with asshole, isn’t that the script? I reckon it took them awhile to fully submit to my frame and adjust to The Ton life. Even the small stuff like eating off those tin camping plates, using dutch ovens over open fires to make supper, fire pit,  smores and wine almost nightly is a departure from their norm.

They never camped before me, didn’t know you could wrap eggs, sausage and hash browns in aluminum foil, toss it on a fire and have breakfast in a few minutes. Never caught fish let alone turn the fish into lunch, right there on the beach by wrapping the fish in foil and tossing it on the fire. Or made chicken stew in a Dutch over over a campfire.

Now all that is old news, but last weekend was our 1st trip off roading. During the build, The Girls were all sickly sweet looks and skeptical smiles but I knew they would enjoy the end results. Girl#2 has always been all about mechanical mayhem and I knew she would enjoy it. Girl#1 gets all smiley and pissed when I do burnouts on the bike or Mustang, but you can tell she loves it, embarrassed about loving it, but loves it, so I was pretty sure she would enjoy the off roading trip.

What I didn’t expect is how much they would enjoy it.

Now the truck isn’t the most radical off road ride but she’ll get the job done. And then some. I lifted it and all that kind of stuff but where I went a little off course is setting it up for camping. We have a camper shell on it, put a homemade rail system in the bed so we can store stuff and slide it all out when we need it and built a bedframe above that so we can sleep on a very comfy foam mattress. A roof rack holds the extra tires, fuel and what not, we can put two kayaks on top of the camper shell if we choose. It ain’t pretty but it’s gets the job done.

Girls eat up attention,and we got a lot of attention. The off road truck/ camper combo was a hit with the other people in the camp site, so was the dog. The Lady Pit is striking, with a big, big friendly personality. We cooked out, and in high fashion. Slept on a nice foam mattress, woke up and had those egg, sausage and hash brown bombs….. we were the talk of the camp ground and I could tell Girl#2 was eating it all up with a spoon, and Girl#1 was enjoying herself as well but in her more reserved manner.

Then we got on the trail. The 1st thing I did was some donuts in the mud, slinging that stuff everywhere while the dog tried to climb in my lap and The Girls laughed like fools. We ran two trails, and I let them run a beginner trail and they were all “we love you” and big smiles. And proud of themselves for driving their 1st off road course.

A week later and it’s about all they talk about.

From a Game perspective there is a lot going on; displays of mastery, demonstrating higher value, pre selection as the other girls at the camp flocked around the rig, talked up my cooking etc etc but but don’t ignore Cindy Lauper’s advice either

I have been deliberate in choosing the outdoor life. These things are fun but there is a larger purpose behind most of what I do. There are certain things I want my son’s to learn. About themselves and about the world, some of which can only be learned outdoors. Some things can only be learned in the ring, others in team sports but the boys are to young for the ring or the ball field.  There are family tradtions I want to preserve for another generation. Skill sets I dont want to see pass away. There are things I want them to do. I want my family to eat certian things and in certian ways. I want these things because they will make my boys better men. I was deliberate in choosing off-roading vs dirt bikes too. I prefer two wheels to 4 but it will be years before the boys can sit a bike but at this point it should all be fun

Have a mission, bend them to your will, have fun

Self-sucfiency, Jack of all trades… ie being a man in a world full of Mancy’s

Cill got me to thinking, dangerous pastime, I know, about how men who were not raised up by traditionally masculine men can address their condition and improve their standing among men.

Being good at being a man entails being as independent as possible and reasonable… ie self-sufficient. It is unrealistic for all men to be good at all things, but most men should and can be reasonably good with their hands. A good stiff jab, a hard straight right hand, a wicked hook, a better upper cut, the ability to repair most shit around the house, to keep your rides tuned and road worthy and the ability  to get yourself out of a bind when your ride doesnt behave isn’t an unreasonable skill set to have and will do much to up your man score.

Nor do these things require a massive investment of time, energy and other resources. Lestwise not when you factor in the return on your investment. Basic plumbing class at the local community college is $85. A turd herder will charge you $40-$60 to come out and replace the inner workings of your shitter. Which takes…. 20 minutes & a $20 kit from Lowe’s. Need to replace the seal between your shitter and floor? That’s going to run you over a hondo for a $15 seal. Spark chasers will charge you $25 to replace a $2.50 outlet. Most HAVAC problems are simple as hell if you know a few tricks, go learn those tricks…. $105 at my local community college.  Knowing a tad bit about automobiles will save you time and money, bring you a sense of accomplishment, and keep you from getting fucked over by the slimy versions of mechanics on the big jobs. Hell the school has a 6 week class focused on repairing common mechanical problems with your car on the side of the road.

Knowing how to do these things, even at a rudimentary level, will bring you standing among men and women. As much as popular culture likes to run down these old school markers of traditional masculinity, the world still responses well to traditionally masculine men.  Imagine discussing your weekend plans and how bad ass it will sound when you tell the chumps you are building a deck while they go shopping with their wives…let those bitches hold sone bitch’s purse. You got man shit to do.  Imagine the sense of accomplishment and pride as you learn to rely on yourself more and other men less.

Especially  you nerdy office drone types.

20 minutes from Camp Ton Costal is my county’s community college where you can learn to weld, learn to do those basic repairs to your house, car/ truck, boat or bike. You can learn to sew, learn to cook, learn to make beer, learn to ride a bike, fix a bike and how to do the same things but on boats. Hell you can also learn to fly, do shit with computers, take photographs and get help creating a buiness plan and start your own bidness

Go forth and learn some cool shit and go do said cool shit.

Prepping for a road trip

I’ve been home for to long. To many nights sleeping in a bed is bad for the soul. The road is calling. The solitude is calling. Wind burn, sunburn, the cold, the rain…. the desire to see just one more mile of road, to see what’s around the next curve, to find that perfect spot to camp for the night…

Heading out on a bike for a few weeks isn’t a trek to the Artic Circle, but it does take some planning. Most folks plan routes. I don’t cotton to such things myself. Lest wise not most trips. I have an agenda in mind but no time line. I’m headed South. I want to hit Miami to meet up with a potential business partner, then I’ll run down to the Keys to link up with a dude from my Ranger Batt days. After that? Who fucking knows? I’ll figure it out as we go. We? Me and my Lady Pit will be on the road for 2-3 weeks.

I don’t know how many bike trips I’ve done, so this is routine for me. What will be new is taking the dog and the side car. Oh, and the bike is relatively new to me. I’ve put about 2500 miles on her. It’s an ’09 Electra Glide, 96″ motor, 6 speed transmissio, a 6 gallon tank, I bought it a few months ago just for the trip. I picked this bike because she is stock, which means less vibration, which means less mechanical problems, less fatigue and no searching for aftermarket parts in strange towns when I run into mechanical problems. I wanted an 09 or newer for a few features. 6 speed transmission for one. The 6 gallon tank extends my saddle time between fill ups, an extra concern with this trip because of the weight of the dog and side car. The 96″ motor gives good power and the extra weight hasn’t caused the power plant to struggle at highway speeds. This is also the year Harley made some changes to reduce engine heat. It breaks well, and withought the side car, handles better then my 04. I also wanted stock exhaust. Makes it easier on my doggies hearing, and noise can increase fatigue. I’m feeling my age and the little things adds up these days.

The interwebz has a lot of pre-trip checklists so I won’t speak on that much. Same thing with toolkits, but have one and do the other. Start with fresh tires, breaks and oil. Well not to fresh, but more then 200 miles on them, and hopefully most of those miles on one run. I don’t require a lot of personal gear, I’ve done coast to coast trips with a sleeping bag, tooth brush and ridding leathers. I do carry a fair amount of gear for the bike.

One of the nice things about owning a Harley is options. In this case luggage options. There are kits that will let you get the maximum use out of the limited space in your saddle bags. Use them. I carry a fairly extensive tool kit; with the right aftermarket tool bags they all fit into what would have been dead space in the saddle bags. I also have 2 one gallon fuel cans that also tuck into some not very useful space in the saddle bags. I always carry two quarts of oil, a small bottle of break fuild, Marvin’s Mysrty oil, octane boost, wd40, duct tape and a shit ton of zipties plus three different ways to repair tires along with two ways to inflate my tires. Method #1 is an electric airpump you can pick up at Napa. I have a hand full of air cartridges that you screw into the val stem, takes a couple per tire, but they can get the job done.

I’ll still have room in the saddle bags for my leathers and some water.

I… not sure what you would call them but I have a set of bags designed to sit on top of the saddle bags. I love those things. They are super easy to get on and off the bike and I can get all I need for short trips/ non camping trips into those two bags. Couple of quick releases, they come right off and are easy to carry into the hotel. Toothbrush, couple pair of socks, maybe a clean shirt, sun screen, spare glasses, gloves, long sleeve shirt… all the small things you like to have easy access to while your on the road. You can also fit rain gear in them if your a pussy and use those types of things.sisoursly though, lots of folks love rain great and it’s smart to keep it handy, I have never liked rain gear and would rather put my leathers on. This trip will be mostly camping and everything I want in the tent will be in those bags.

Lots of folks have touring packs/ trunks on their glides. I dislike them for several reasons. I go old school, a nice tall sissy bar, bags and zip ties. These days I have some luggage designed to be used/ strapped to the sissy bar. This is where all the camping stuff and a full face helmet goes.

As a rule, I hate helmets, but a full face helmet is nice to have when it rains. It’s winter time in the South, so I will for sure get rained on. Which is why my socks and what not will be in zip lock bags. Same with the box of spare ammo and mags for my XDM. I’ll also take some under armor in case it gets cold, 2 sets of gloves, hand/ foot warmers and a spare pair of boots

The main topic I wanted to address is camping gear. There is some cool camping shit out there but storage space is limited on a bike, you have the shit you would like to have with you like a towel and a bar of soap and you have shit you absolutely need like moonshine and condoms. Weight is an issue as well, and you need to pack all that shit on your bike in such a way you can get to your stuff in a hurry when you need it and in such a way as it doesn’t negatively affect your bikes balance and center of gravity. Camping in cool places is a big deal to me on this trip. I want to do a little fishing, a little drinking and a lot of sitting around the fire drinking, grilling and singing Johnny Cash songs with my dog so on top of the stuff you need like a tent and a sleeping bag, I want to bring a fishing pole, camping stool, hatchet and some cooking gear.

I’m not going to tell you what gear to buy but I am going to tell you a group of people who have successfully solved the camping gear vs size and weight problem

Backpackers have all that shit figured out. Light weight sleeping bags, light weight tents, stoves, cooking gear, dishes…. they sell all that shit and for less money then the places selling motorcycle gear.

Also I recommend a 2 man tent for the extra space and sleeping bag good to 20F with a poncho liner for extra weight. Saves you money and space and between the 3 things you’ll stay pretty warm even when it’s balls cold

diner

olive oil, garlic, heavy cream and Parmesan cheese

olive oil, garlic, heavy cream and Parmesan cheese

The wine is for the cook,

 

saute the garlic in the olive oil. each to taste.

saute the garlic in the olive oil. each to taste.

while drinking a bottle of wine. no glass needed

once the garlic is slightly browned poor the heavy cream into the pan.

once the garlic is slightly browned poor the heavy cream into the pan.

 

at this stage the cook needs more wine

 

add the cheese in small amounts, stir until its melted. rinse repeat until you are damn near out of cheese

add the cheese in small amounts, stir until its melted. rinse repeat until you are damn near out of cheese

this is the labor intense part. experienced drinkers… I mean cooks may continue the wine consumption

keep stirring until the cheese is melted and you have a smooth blend.

keep stirring until the cheese is melted and you have a smooth blend.

pour over the pasta of your choice. in this case I bought some Ravioli from Sam’s. One was stuffed with cheese the other chicken in cheese. We are having rib eyes on the side.

 

 

more musings on random man-o-sphere comments

In my mental wanderings I read a lament about women today and the need to teach women to value their virginity and to develop other skills to attract men.

I call shenanigans

 

#1)I married a virgin and it was still a fucking nightmare. Guys cling to this low to no N-count as some sort of magic fetish that will ensure marital bliss. Sorry friends I am living proof it doesn’t work that way. Nor am I the only one

 

#2) teach them what exactly? No one seems to get to that point, myself included. The Girls and access to their bodies is what adds value to my life. I reckon when folks say this ‘teach them to develop other things to attract men” they mean domestic stuff which is faulty thinking on several fronts.

  • it assumes men value the same kind of frilly, kick knack stuffed girly domestic life women do
  • does not take into account most domestic work done by women is for their own up keep
  • it does not take into account every modern convince that helps make a stay at home mom’s life easier makes the bachelor life easier
  • it does not take into an account how expensive women are to keep compared to having a house keeper, laundry service etc etc
  • cooking, cleaning and what not are not huge tasks, especially for a single adult man.

Men are perfectly happy in Spartan like conditions. When my majordomo walked into my house her response was “this is definitely a bachelor’s house”. If I had a dollar for every time I have heard that I’d have… about 300 bucks. Women always comment on that. The walls are a soft Earth color and the 1st thing you see when you walk through the door is a Texas Longhorn skull with hats hanging off the horns. I also have some military stuff on the walls, lots of flags, tributes to my Confederate roots and dead critters. I had one recliner, an end table with coffee table books on it, a small kitchen table, the chairs to go with it, a TV, a PS3 and a shit ton of guns and booze….. I do have a nicely appointed kitchen ( back to that buy things that last deal), but my house is not that far off from most of the bachelor’s I know. If anything, it was more decorated. Men don’t collect bullshit like women seem to accumulate which makes for a more slimmed down and easier to maintain living quarters.

I have women living with me now and they require up keep. My bathroom is a combat zone of “stuff”. Most of which I have no idea what it is or what it does. It was a lot easier to clean my few items, and the shower drain didn’t get clogged with long blonde hair until Girl#1 arrived. Girl#1 did have some useful items to add to the home, but mostly it was just stuff. I limited her to 10 kick knack type items and her important books. No collection of house wife porn allowed.

Microwaves, pre-made meals at Harris Tetter or Sam’s, vacuum cleaners, all those handy cleaning wipes… you name it if ti helps a mom of three keep a house clean and family feed, it helps men. The number of these items is endless. 1 Clorox wipe a day keeps the bathroom clean, three a day keep the kitchen clean etc etc. Because its only one of you the mess is considerably less, you have more place to put the small amount of junk you have (or in my case a lot of fire arms). You make less of a mess cooking meals, your meal plan is easier because your not balancing other peoples tastes in chow

 

Women cost money. They need more clothes, more stuff for the bathroom, this gadget, that bit of make up, stuff to keep aunt flow from making a mess… again the list is fucking endless and costly. Not to mention the consumer research showing women spend more money then men.

 

I have already address how cooking, cleaning etc are not huge tasks and these things are what I can come up with? Imagine what a sober and more intelligent man could come up with?

 

People mean well when they say ” teach women to value their virginity and to develop other skills to attract men” but I reckon it is a very simplistic, idealized view of women and life, like some folks romanticized visions of the 1950’s.

They also must understand the nature of marriage, marriage no longer equals regular sex ( if it ever did) or any type of claim to children and family. Kids and therefore the family belong to the government and women

The solution is returning to what works; women and children being the property of fathers and husbands.

answering critics and some humor

Answering critics
Woman hater? A frequent blue pill claim about me and the RedPill world at large is we hate women. It’s fucking stupid. Most men have women in their life to varying degrees. Are we to believe RedPill men hate them? Recently I was called a woman hater by a Christian girl on the interwebz….#1 worst kind of women are Christian women. They get all the normal men bad women good message and then get a second helping of it on Sunday with, what they believe to be, a stamp of approval from God Himself.

The idea men hate women is ridiculous, me even more so. The women in my life are, my  daughter,  the Girls who are dear to me, one who is pregnant with my child, a sister, sister in laws, nieces, cousins of all sorts and an elderly lady who chose to live with me vs her kids. Are we to believe I hate these girls and women? My own flesh and blood? A woman who is to be the mother of my 3rd child? Well it’s a lot easier to say “you hate women” then to take an honest look at the unpleasant reality of women.

 

I was also told by the same girl I am not religious which is sort of true. I have faith not religion. I am not tied to some man-made denomination and their made up rules. For whatever reason, catholics are quick to make this charge, maybe because they have the largest number of made up rules? I do not talk about God, faith and religion much because most men are not qualified to have the decision. They are to low on the masculinity quotient to understand God and His ways. The more I talk to a man about such things, the more I have confirmed his place in the hierarchy of men. The Almighty God is a God for men, not these eunuchs who try to pass themselves off believers. The Almighty God is the God of war, the commander of the host, the Divine warrior and the God of Justice. Eye for an eye. That is Justice and mercy as it makes the punishment fit the crime but doesn’t go overboard. In the Old Testament He slaughters His enemies and demands terrible prices for crimes against His way. Most men what to turn Him into some kind of dope smoking flower child / magical wish granting Santa Claus hybrid. To understand God, a man must have balls (eunuchs not allowed in His assembly). Coming to an understanding of the Almighty and His ways is not possible without a working set of masculine genital.  One of the Almighty’s 1st commands is to go out into the world, fill it with children and take dominion over the earth. That’s man’s work baby, driven by testosterone. The Patriarchs of the Old Testament were men among men. When Abraham had some kin folk stolen he didn’t go running for the police; he rounded up his crew and pulled off a commando raid. Hillbilly style right there. David got his bride by bringing back the foreskin of his enemy. Moses was right there in the thick of battle. They had more then one wife. Joshua was a warlord, and mighty man of God, eager for battle and committing genocide on the command of his God…. Long story short, I don’t talk about faith with men who have a feminized version of God. Women are to hold their tongue in church, womanish men should do the same

 

Check this link out( would have reblogged it but I haven’t figured that shit out yet)
http://sistemaperalta.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/a-checklist-of-25-things-to-ensure-youre-a-manly-man/
This guy writes some funny stuff and I follow his blog. His manliness checklist is pretty damn good but I don’t get the max score…. Now go read it and get back to me. Here’s where I fall on the check list

But anyway, here is the checklist to see how you stack up in manliness. There are also five bonus points that can be earned.

 _ You own at least ten flannel shirts *(bonus point for twenty or more). own none. I think that is more of a yankee thing vs Southron thing. I own 3 long-sleeved shirts that aren’t dress shirts or camo. Not much call for them here. It was 60 degrees yesterday and I rode my bike for hours… and owning 20 shirts…. WTF?
_ You can hike a minimum of six miles on moderate terrain. LOL I use to walk for a living back in my infantry/SOCOM days
_ You’ve made something useful out of wood. I’m a fair hand at many carpentry tasks.
_ You get daily compliments on your facial foliage. LOL damn near daily and had an Afghan general stop to talk beards with me
_ You own more than one bottle of whiskey. and then some
_ You have never seen an episode of “American Idol”. I have not, nor Oprah or any of that shit. I have not had cable etc in 15 years and would tell the ex to turn it off/ change the channel when I walked into the room
_ You have used a bone as a toothpick. I have
_ Your diet is 75% red meat and/or bacon. And then some
_ You own a legit survival knife that actually does its job. I do, but I have never needed more them my buck knife despite 3+ decades of hunting, fishing, camping etc and 24 years of infantry/ SOCOM service. Those things are over kill if you ask me and a pocket knife and hatchet are better options
_ You can construct a tent without instructions. There are folks who cannot do this?
_ You need at least a six pack to get any kind of buzz. There are folks over the age of 8 who can get buzzed off beer?
_ You can’t tell the difference between kale and the stuff used to decorate Easter baskets.LOL We grew kale when I was a kid so I know what it looks like.
_ You have at least one friend that is a wild animal *(bonus point for an eagle). Sort of.I have a large mouth bass in a fish tank vs pet store fish and a Barn Owl lives on my property who I check up on
_ You find a legit reason to use your multi-tool multiple times per day. Multi-tools are beta
_ You own snake-proof boots and actually have a use for them. Nope. Snake proof boots are beta. I have been an outdoors men for as long as I can remember, have killed more snakes then I can count on 4 continents(including South America/ the Amazon rain forest) and never worried about having snake proof boots.
_ You’ve worked out with a log *(bonus point for throwing it after the workout). I have a caber to toss and two steel logs to press.
_ You’ve made a fire without using a lighter or matches. Yep
_ You’ve eaten a fish that you caught yourself. LOL a good amount of what I eat is what I have caught, killed or grew ( well sort of. I don’t do much of the gardening stuff)
_ You can diagnose what is wrong with your vehicle *(bonus point if you fixed it).Yep and yep, bike and truck too.
_ You can cook a stellar ribeye in a cast iron skillet. LOL I can but prefer to grill them. Its rarely to cold to cook outdoors here but I only owned cast iron cookware until the Majordomo moved in
_ You have chopped your own wood. Every year.
_ You have read at least five Louis L’Amour novels *(bonus point for ten or more). yep and yep
_ You have good accuracy with a tomahawk. I can hit a man@ 20 feet with one and make it stick…. Only have done it to wooden targets though. My 1st trip to Afghanistan we didn’t have interwebz etc so to settle all the dumb debates/ bar type arguments  folks state side would goggle we use a throwing ace and target. 1st one to stick the axe won. Apparently the sky is blue because of the lucky charm’s Leprechaun. Who knew?
_ You make ribs that aren’t just mediocre. People have told me, my ribs and BBQ have ruined all other ribs/ sauce for them
_ You can make at least five manly cocktails? Booze on ice, booze with no ice. Done on the manly cocktail front.
Here’s how you measure up:
25+ points = You are a mastodon of manliness.
20-24 points = You’re still a beast and on the verge of greatness.
15-19 points = You need some work but every grizzly starts as a cub.
10-14 points = C’mon, dude. Turn off “Bridezillas” and go put a gorilla in a headlock.
5-9 points = Stop buying Justin Beiber CDs.
0-4 points = Deduct whatever points you have because you don’t deserve them. You’re a zero.

Pretty damn funny list.