Category Archives: dogs

Keep on trucking

I don’t normally write much about long-term life with women. Mostly because my marriage was a train wreck and I have had more success pulling chicks and nexting bitches then keeping them around but things with The Girls have been going well for awhile now. Even after this last meat grinder of a year. I can’t recall the last anything resembling a shit tests and when things looked their worst this year, The Girls never wavered. They never bitched when our budget was cut by more then half, they never got pissy when I hit the road to clear my head. No second guessing. No nagging or pitty parties.

That’s a new experience for me. Times past, women added stress. From the beginning The Girls have made it a habit to talk about me in the 3rd person as if I am not there. Its always amused me. When The Girls talk about me/ us etc it’s no longer about how masculine I am, or how I am an asshole or impossible to live with or how could they both love an asshole so much etc etc

These days the Girls mostly mention how much fun they have with me. I am not sure why the evolution in their discussions but it has been an interesting change, one I didn’t notice until recently. Could a sense of shared adventure be key to LTR success? One would think I started out fun then became an impossible to live with asshole, isn’t that the script? I reckon it took them awhile to fully submit to my frame and adjust to The Ton life. Even the small stuff like eating off those tin camping plates, using dutch ovens over open fires to make supper, fire pit,  smores and wine almost nightly is a departure from their norm.

They never camped before me, didn’t know you could wrap eggs, sausage and hash browns in aluminum foil, toss it on a fire and have breakfast in a few minutes. Never caught fish let alone turn the fish into lunch, right there on the beach by wrapping the fish in foil and tossing it on the fire. Or made chicken stew in a Dutch over over a campfire.

Now all that is old news, but last weekend was our 1st trip off roading. During the build, The Girls were all sickly sweet looks and skeptical smiles but I knew they would enjoy the end results. Girl#2 has always been all about mechanical mayhem and I knew she would enjoy it. Girl#1 gets all smiley and pissed when I do burnouts on the bike or Mustang, but you can tell she loves it, embarrassed about loving it, but loves it, so I was pretty sure she would enjoy the off roading trip.

What I didn’t expect is how much they would enjoy it.

Now the truck isn’t the most radical off road ride but she’ll get the job done. And then some. I lifted it and all that kind of stuff but where I went a little off course is setting it up for camping. We have a camper shell on it, put a homemade rail system in the bed so we can store stuff and slide it all out when we need it and built a bedframe above that so we can sleep on a very comfy foam mattress. A roof rack holds the extra tires, fuel and what not, we can put two kayaks on top of the camper shell if we choose. It ain’t pretty but it’s gets the job done.

Girls eat up attention,and we got a lot of attention. The off road truck/ camper combo was a hit with the other people in the camp site, so was the dog. The Lady Pit is striking, with a big, big friendly personality. We cooked out, and in high fashion. Slept on a nice foam mattress, woke up and had those egg, sausage and hash brown bombs….. we were the talk of the camp ground and I could tell Girl#2 was eating it all up with a spoon, and Girl#1 was enjoying herself as well but in her more reserved manner.

Then we got on the trail. The 1st thing I did was some donuts in the mud, slinging that stuff everywhere while the dog tried to climb in my lap and The Girls laughed like fools. We ran two trails, and I let them run a beginner trail and they were all “we love you” and big smiles. And proud of themselves for driving their 1st off road course.

A week later and it’s about all they talk about.

From a Game perspective there is a lot going on; displays of mastery, demonstrating higher value, pre selection as the other girls at the camp flocked around the rig, talked up my cooking etc etc but but don’t ignore Cindy Lauper’s advice either

I have been deliberate in choosing the outdoor life. These things are fun but there is a larger purpose behind most of what I do. There are certain things I want my son’s to learn. About themselves and about the world, some of which can only be learned outdoors. Some things can only be learned in the ring, others in team sports but the boys are to young for the ring or the ball field.  There are family tradtions I want to preserve for another generation. Skill sets I dont want to see pass away. There are things I want them to do. I want my family to eat certian things and in certian ways. I want these things because they will make my boys better men. I was deliberate in choosing off-roading vs dirt bikes too. I prefer two wheels to 4 but it will be years before the boys can sit a bike but at this point it should all be fun

Have a mission, bend them to your will, have fun

Prepping for a road trip

I’ve been home for to long. To many nights sleeping in a bed is bad for the soul. The road is calling. The solitude is calling. Wind burn, sunburn, the cold, the rain…. the desire to see just one more mile of road, to see what’s around the next curve, to find that perfect spot to camp for the night…

Heading out on a bike for a few weeks isn’t a trek to the Artic Circle, but it does take some planning. Most folks plan routes. I don’t cotton to such things myself. Lest wise not most trips. I have an agenda in mind but no time line. I’m headed South. I want to hit Miami to meet up with a potential business partner, then I’ll run down to the Keys to link up with a dude from my Ranger Batt days. After that? Who fucking knows? I’ll figure it out as we go. We? Me and my Lady Pit will be on the road for 2-3 weeks.

I don’t know how many bike trips I’ve done, so this is routine for me. What will be new is taking the dog and the side car. Oh, and the bike is relatively new to me. I’ve put about 2500 miles on her. It’s an ’09 Electra Glide, 96″ motor, 6 speed transmissio, a 6 gallon tank, I bought it a few months ago just for the trip. I picked this bike because she is stock, which means less vibration, which means less mechanical problems, less fatigue and no searching for aftermarket parts in strange towns when I run into mechanical problems. I wanted an 09 or newer for a few features. 6 speed transmission for one. The 6 gallon tank extends my saddle time between fill ups, an extra concern with this trip because of the weight of the dog and side car. The 96″ motor gives good power and the extra weight hasn’t caused the power plant to struggle at highway speeds. This is also the year Harley made some changes to reduce engine heat. It breaks well, and withought the side car, handles better then my 04. I also wanted stock exhaust. Makes it easier on my doggies hearing, and noise can increase fatigue. I’m feeling my age and the little things adds up these days.

The interwebz has a lot of pre-trip checklists so I won’t speak on that much. Same thing with toolkits, but have one and do the other. Start with fresh tires, breaks and oil. Well not to fresh, but more then 200 miles on them, and hopefully most of those miles on one run. I don’t require a lot of personal gear, I’ve done coast to coast trips with a sleeping bag, tooth brush and ridding leathers. I do carry a fair amount of gear for the bike.

One of the nice things about owning a Harley is options. In this case luggage options. There are kits that will let you get the maximum use out of the limited space in your saddle bags. Use them. I carry a fairly extensive tool kit; with the right aftermarket tool bags they all fit into what would have been dead space in the saddle bags. I also have 2 one gallon fuel cans that also tuck into some not very useful space in the saddle bags. I always carry two quarts of oil, a small bottle of break fuild, Marvin’s Mysrty oil, octane boost, wd40, duct tape and a shit ton of zipties plus three different ways to repair tires along with two ways to inflate my tires. Method #1 is an electric airpump you can pick up at Napa. I have a hand full of air cartridges that you screw into the val stem, takes a couple per tire, but they can get the job done.

I’ll still have room in the saddle bags for my leathers and some water.

I… not sure what you would call them but I have a set of bags designed to sit on top of the saddle bags. I love those things. They are super easy to get on and off the bike and I can get all I need for short trips/ non camping trips into those two bags. Couple of quick releases, they come right off and are easy to carry into the hotel. Toothbrush, couple pair of socks, maybe a clean shirt, sun screen, spare glasses, gloves, long sleeve shirt… all the small things you like to have easy access to while your on the road. You can also fit rain gear in them if your a pussy and use those types of things.sisoursly though, lots of folks love rain great and it’s smart to keep it handy, I have never liked rain gear and would rather put my leathers on. This trip will be mostly camping and everything I want in the tent will be in those bags.

Lots of folks have touring packs/ trunks on their glides. I dislike them for several reasons. I go old school, a nice tall sissy bar, bags and zip ties. These days I have some luggage designed to be used/ strapped to the sissy bar. This is where all the camping stuff and a full face helmet goes.

As a rule, I hate helmets, but a full face helmet is nice to have when it rains. It’s winter time in the South, so I will for sure get rained on. Which is why my socks and what not will be in zip lock bags. Same with the box of spare ammo and mags for my XDM. I’ll also take some under armor in case it gets cold, 2 sets of gloves, hand/ foot warmers and a spare pair of boots

The main topic I wanted to address is camping gear. There is some cool camping shit out there but storage space is limited on a bike, you have the shit you would like to have with you like a towel and a bar of soap and you have shit you absolutely need like moonshine and condoms. Weight is an issue as well, and you need to pack all that shit on your bike in such a way you can get to your stuff in a hurry when you need it and in such a way as it doesn’t negatively affect your bikes balance and center of gravity. Camping in cool places is a big deal to me on this trip. I want to do a little fishing, a little drinking and a lot of sitting around the fire drinking, grilling and singing Johnny Cash songs with my dog so on top of the stuff you need like a tent and a sleeping bag, I want to bring a fishing pole, camping stool, hatchet and some cooking gear.

I’m not going to tell you what gear to buy but I am going to tell you a group of people who have successfully solved the camping gear vs size and weight problem

Backpackers have all that shit figured out. Light weight sleeping bags, light weight tents, stoves, cooking gear, dishes…. they sell all that shit and for less money then the places selling motorcycle gear.

Also I recommend a 2 man tent for the extra space and sleeping bag good to 20F with a poncho liner for extra weight. Saves you money and space and between the 3 things you’ll stay pretty warm even when it’s balls cold

Sell me on….

Saving Western Civilization

Another pretty typical man up and marry some bitch to save Western Civilization diatribe is making the rounds, and as is typical their marketing sucks ass. As in it is all sreech and no sales pitch. It and the comment section is filled with the typical feminist and posturing beta shaming attacks. Pretty boring shit; mgtow are genetic dead ends, they’re fags, pussies, defeatist etc etc.

Let’s face it, there is some percentage of men who could never marry under any social climate(which does not merit our ridicule)but I reckon the majority of mgtow probably could pull  a bride. The issue is could they pull a girl decent enough to offset the various risks. Asking that question is smart pool. The Bible tells us a lot of things. One is a wise man counts the cost before setting on a course of action. The Bible praises prudence and fools rush in where angles fear to tread.  Another bit of Godly  wisdom is….its better to live outdoors then with a bitch. Genetic dead-end, fag, pussy…. not much there to motivate the mgtow men on the bubble. And nothing there to offset legitimate concerns

Of course hit pieces like that are not about challenging and elevating men; they are about rallying the feminist/ tradcon troops, keeping them fired up to feed the meat grinder

Now on to this saving Western Civilization bidness…. my question is why?

The value in Western Civilization is directly propionate to its ability to ensure and protect the rights, property and faith of individual God fearing White men. Western Civilization is only worthy of protection and preservation to the extent it does those three things. Doing those 3 things allowed White men to create unparalleled advances in science, technology, wealth and art. To name a few. Beautiful art; music, sculpture, paintings… words…. all inspiring and elevating men, life saving medical advances… air conditioning…. those are not the purposes of Western Civilization but subset benefits to ensuring an individual White man’s rights, property and faith.

Does Western Civilization do any such things these days? Has it done any such in the last 3 generations? Or more? No says I… yes lots of new things in the science and technology but no to the rest. For me, a civilization that creates new gadgets doesn’t off set killing it’s unborn

As I have said before, civilization is a crutch, it gives women and weak men skirts to hide behind. It also gives unscrupulous men the ability to fleece honest men by the millions… never mind. I can on for sometime on that one

Also most men cannot grasp concepts like Western Civilization. You have to give them missions that hit close to home. That line will be relevant in a bit

When I do the math, I cannot see the value in preserving Western Civilization. It no longer serves its purpose or its masters. The bill will come due one day, and proping up a dying system only delays the day of reckoning which jacks up the bill

I don’t know when the wheels will fall off, I don’t know when the debt will be called in, I don’t know what, if anything, will replace it. Nor is it my concern

I want to preserve people, my people, my blood kin, the Ton progeny, my extended family, my brothers from my army days, my employees and in the big picture, Southern Whites, then kind of sort of White folks in general. The closer to home whatever you want to persevere is, the easier it is to plan for

the Ton Life priority of fires is short and sweet

Right relationship with the Almighty. I have various bits of paper from the Army saying I am a certified bad ass. I am nothing compared to Him who made me. It is only right to acknowledge those who are greater then us.

Making money. Money is the most useful tool you will ever have.  And by make money  I don’t mean having a job. You need to own assets. You will always make more money having employees then you will being an employee. In this world you are either a pimp making money off his ho’s and their tricks, a ho making money off tricks for your pimp, or a trick giving your money to the ho so she can give it to her pimp. It’s better to be a ho then a trick and it’s better yet to be a pimp

Next is your Frame, your reputation, masculine pride…. your mental, emotional, strength, toughness  and abilities.  It requires more brain power and balls to be the master of your own destiny then it does to be a worker been. Trust me. Any military or small business man will tell you that. And you need Game. Soical skills are an important aspect of your frame, reputation and standing among men

Number 4 is your ability to commit violence. This is about your physical strength and toughness. Which you won’t have if you are not mentally and emotionally tough.  This is about how good you are with a gun, how quick your fists are, how cunning and ruthless you can be… and knowing when to be ruthless, cunning and violent

Did you notice what isn’t on the list? Know why they aren’t there? It’s because you can not have those things on your own accord without getting those 4 things in order.

Life for a man will fall into place once he’s about 80% in each of those 4 things. Once you in that Grove, you stop worrying about how society or women or the government fucks up your life. You don’t worry so much about staying on top or losing a round or two because you know you can bounce back. You rely on yourself and your own resources vs needing the protections of far away concepts like Western Civilization

Ton on Patriarchy

Around these here parts, we all hear a lot of man talk about Patriarchy, restoring Patriarchy and being a Patriarch in the hear and now.

Despite men’s best efforts and genuine desire, I doubt how many of us are Patriarch of his family. !st, few men really know what the job entails. The tactical reality on the ground is being a Patriarch as a Roman or Saxon would understand the term is not only socially despised but outlawed. Leave all your wealth to your oldest son, and your other children can take it to court, overriding your last will and testament. Correct your wife, put her on a budget, demand your rights to her body and you can be facing domestic violence charges. Try forbidding your daughter or son from marrying who they choose or majoring in what they want at college….. Sure you have options, but the law won’t back you on any of them.

Most men, most especially Betas are not cut out to be Patriarchs. The way I reckon things it was betas males who drove feminism. Why? Alpha males always have sexual options, no matter how restrictive the culture he finds himself in. It is beta males who get ground down by nagging wives and the toils of life. Life is hard on betas and feminism was a way to lighten their load. Or so they were told and so they thought. Thing is, there are no light loads. You only transfer one set of burdens for another. Christ tells to come unto him to find rest because there is no long term worldly rest.

To be a Patriarch is to take on burdens. The burden of command and authority is no fucking joke. Most men do not understand what is like to have life and death authority over and responsibility for the well being of 30-40 or more men. One of the man o sphere’s mistaken ideas is the limited scope of Patriarchy. It is not simply ruling over and taking care of your small family. It is having a very real amount of responsibility for your grandchildren and their lives, your siblings, their spouses and their children. Maybe your fathers siblings, your parents and their parents as well. Various discussions about Kinism will address these issues more thoroughly. It is not coming home and deciding what’s for diner, its deciding on where the family will live, subjects children will study, sports they will engage it, which head of live stock live and which ones get butchered, its how much money to save, what to spend money on, who should marry who, what business ventures the extend family will engage in, who shall run which endeavor, where and how to worship, who is and who is not living up to the family name, what shall be done with those who do not…. the list is damn near endless.

In a true Patriarchy, when my brother crossed the river Jordan, responsibility for his widow and children would have legally fallen on me. They would have moved in to my house, I would have parented his children, chosen his widows next husband, had full legal authority and legal responsibility for them.

When my little brother was called home he left behind a wife and two young daughters. Not only did he leave a widow behind but two young daughters. One of whom has serious behavioral problems, and I mean serious. The kind that leads to nothing good; hard life, early death, jail time not to mention the harm she does and will do to others. She was like this before my brother died, but they came to live with me for a short while where my troubled niece saw major behavioral improvements from living in steady state of consistent, calm discipline. My more fragile niece thrived.  My sister in law learned how to make good decisions, balance a budget, keep a clean house, dispense discipline and justice with her children, cook healthy food and in general be a functioning adult and mother.

She left my house in a huff because I was limiting her girl power (drinking), treating her like a child ( at best a woman is the oldest teenager in the house, still a child) and because I just didn’t understand how hard it was for her to be a widow and a single mom. For the record, I understand, as much as I can, but frankly I don’t give a fuck. Those are excuses to be a failure.  How hard it is doesn’t change what needs to be done, how it needs to be done or the needs of small girls. I fucking hate excuses. Spin hamster spin.

Any rate, she moves out and back to their old home and things are now once again out of control. The house is too large for a single mom to keep clean, or for one to keep track of the kids. The yard is way to large for her to deal…. especially with how much the one child requires supervision and the other damage control.  The cost to keep the house going is quite high. The problem niece torments pets to the point when she was bitten by a their dog no one in my family blamed the dog. I now have their Pit Bull. He is at my feet as I type, poor guy gets bullied by the Hell Hounds, but he takes it in stride. My niece steals, she lies like she breathes, natural and easy and some are damaging as hell( she once started begging money saying her mommy could not afford to feed them and gifts laying on the sob story about being fatherless and her mommy not having the money to buy them things( neither are true); she had the school call CPS on my sister in law because she was angry at her mother and she cranked up the lies; she is violent toward smaller kids, including her sister; cheats at everything she does and of course gets in a fair amount of trouble at school. There really is nothing much positive to say about the child, though if she was a boy, he’d be one ass pulling machine.

Child Protective services was called on my sister in law, who is frankly a dumb, drunk bitch who made matters worse, but not so bad the CPS folks took the kids. More recently my nieces behavior sunk to a new low which could have only been achieved by neglect. A week long period of neglect while they spent 5 days at a well known theme park. My sister in law, and her family thinks it’s funny; my sister in laws idea of discipline is to yell  threats at the child, like I will punch you in the face, then she laughs about the poor behavior. She has never made the child return the money or gifts she grifted or give the money/ gifts to charity. Her excuse for not doing anything? She had never faced such a thing before? Who the fuck needs to have a massive amount of experience with a their child being a con artist to know that step one is making sure the kid doesn’t actually profit from their deceit? Also I am leaving a bunch of stuff out, some a potentially worse then what I have reported.

So I rolled up to see them, to recon the objective and develop a course of action….

The grass had not been cut in who knows how long, the neighbor who was doing it for free has not had the time( he is busy dealing with the shitty economy and even worse wife, but he is such a beta he felt the need to apologize to me like a thousand and one times hence the shitty wife); the house was full of trash, some in trash bags, a goodly amount was not. There was rotting food in my sister in laws bedroom; half eaten food all over the place; the kids bathroom was a wreck including a toilet full of piss and shit, faucet handles so nasty I wouldn’t touch them etc. The 1st thing I noticed walking into the house? It smelled like dog piss which also means my niece the problem child is having a blast tormenting the new puppy. Yea my dumb ass sister in law got another dog for that kid to attack. My good niece is an emotional wreck, God bless her. She is good as gold but I fear what this will do to her. My sister in law was damn near incoherent on wine at mid day, she has strangers living with them. A family of troglodytes she has known for like 4 months with a massively dysfunctional background.

I grabbed my nieces, put them on my bike and found a hotel. Well that isn’t true. I already knew where it is. The next morning when I return my sister in law freaks out about them being on the bike. The strangers in the house had to tell her I took the kids. Yea she didn’t remember crazy ass uncle Ton left with her kids. She thinks the house is fine as it is( apparently its basically clean, just cluttered), the evil child is sweet and loving despite kicking her younger sister in the face for shits and grins, the emotionally wrecked child is fine and of course she has the ultimate excuse; its hard to be widow and she is doing a great job given how hard it is

Bullfuckingshit. She is an utter failure as a mother. A little tough love later and she is trying to kick me out of the house. I refused to go without the girls, she calls the cops. A small little lady cop shows up and she is scared shitless when she sees my sister in law in an uncontrollable rage. Of course I am by default the bad guy. I refuse to comply with her demands I leave the property. She threatens to arrest me, I shrug. I told the lady cop I will leave with my nieces; when CPS shows up or in a body bag. She has no idea how to respond and calls for help. I am cal sitting on my bike, recording everything on my cellphone, being as non threatening as I can be, while my sister in law rages. The lady cop tries to speak with me but I tell it will only add stress to the situation unless my sister in law is put in check. She tries to engage in nervous chit chat until a sergeant shows up who pulls me to the side while the girl cop tries to keep my sister in law in calm. The amount of emotional and physical energy a drunk crazy bitch can pour out and sustain is unbelievable. I would have collapsed from exhaustion before the 1st law dog showed up.  I tell him the same thing I told the lady cop, plus about my gun and offer to temporarily surrender the gun and sit in his car until CPS shows up or he searches the house. He does not take me up on the offer. I tell him about the other family and he waits for a third cop to show up. The two cops spend about 3 minutes in the house before calling CPS.

Its a weekend so it takes a long time for CPS to show up. Mean while the cop is trying to do the tough guy act now that things are basically resolved/ under control, giving me a list of the things he could pull me in for. I resit the urge to say something clever like “oh nos, I’ve never been in trouble with the law before whatever will I do?”( that is my default response to cops just like I have an autonomic response to someone asking me who the hell do I think I am?  “I am the Ton motherfucker, maybe you heard of me, bitch?”

CPS says the house is a wreck but not so bad they’ll take the kids. I tell them and the cops if the kids are harmed or get some weird health issues I will hurt them. All of them. More bullshit posturing by the cops, but they do nothing and spend a fair amount of time telling me to relax. Which is funny since I didn’t cuss or raise my voice.

What comes next is the most dishearten part. Damn near everyone in my family and her’s blows up my phone to run through a laundry list of character faults, my character faults. Some pussy ass squid of a brother in law threatens to kick my ass. I laughed. I am clam as I always am. I hang up on each one of them after a few minutes. What’s the point in continue an argument with irrational 14 year old girls throwing hissy fits? None so there was no point in talking with them. I created a group text telling them I understand they are embarrassed because not only did they stand by and did nothing while the lived in filth and were at risk, they actively hide intell from me. I took action as soon as the intell arrived ( ok 7 hours later after I packed and got some sleep), and that they are scared my sister in law will turn on them and keep their nieces or granddaughters away but they are enabling the neglect of blood relatives and furthering the out of control behavior of our niece. I told them if they ever need to contact me it best be to apologize, and they will have to communicate through my father I blocked their numbers, email etc.

Only my father, uncles, two aunt and my own children are speaking to me. My daughter is in her own rage, she is a fierce as fierce gets in her protection of me.

Folks are puzzled I am not upset about how things played out. By everyone I mean my beloved daughter, Ton Spawn Production Unit and Half Ton Production Unit and my Majordomo. To me, there is nothing to be upset about. The family who turned on me demonstrated how they do not add value to my life or honor my brother, our name or blood kin. They are weak, refusing to act to protect the weakest members of our collective family out of fear of a little woman with a drinking problem and some vague idea they will never see the kids again; they fear being called names and worst of all of being deemed judgmental…. I did what needed to be done, my duties, obligations and responsibilities fulfilled. My honor and pride intact. Doing nothing would eat me alive. I was asked how do I live with myself?(meant as a hurtful comment which I immediately hung up on; never complain, never explain, always take decisive action). That’s how I live. I do what needs to be done and I put duty, honor and right action above all else. One day I will stand before the Almighty God, and I have more to answer to then the most of men, but there are things I will not be called to as well.

We hear a good deal of men around these parts claim or speak to being the Patriarch type. I call bullshit 99% of the time. Soft men are not Patriarchs. Going to your Latin mass, or attending a so called traditional church with a stay at home wife does not make you a Patriarch. Doing the hard things for the least of your kin, making the hard calls and rolling with the hate does.

Want to be a Patriarch? Then embrace the suck of authority, responsibility and being hated. It’s a man’s job, not a betas.

synonyms and being a bad boy.

Synonyms are words or phrases with similar meaning. I think. I earn my pay with a rifle not a Thor-sore-us, but I hear the same 4 phrases said about me over and over again and I think they all mean the same thing, just from a different point of view

#1 thing I hear men say about me is…. “bad ass”. As in “Ton, that is bad ass” or “you just look like a bad ass” etc etc.

#1 thing I hear from women when talking about me is….. “most manly man I’ve ever known”  or some such nonsense.

Sadly in today’s world, neither has a particularly high standard to achieve. Yea I have a tough job and I live hard but BV’s story about his self rescue after his bike crash is as bad ass as it fucking gets. Lots of are bad ass, lots of men are 100% masculine.

A few weekends back I was at BBQ ( God bless the South). While standing around a partner’s kitchen my friend Anthony remarked how “Ton just stands there like a bad ass”. Later one of the ladies told his wife “You’re right, Ton is all man”.

Now lets put this in context. Every swinging dick there was a combat vet with trigger time ( well not Anthony he was our medic with balls to spare but has never put a man down), a number of them SOCOM vets like myself, two race 1/4 miles stuff, one is very successful at it, most are ok mechanics and the like…. Everyone one of those guys have pretty much done what I have done, none of them are pussies and I’d take anyone of them into the thickest shit imaginable but they are tame, almost nurtured back here Stateside, standing around in their pressed britches and collared shirt and modern(ish)

Any-rate, regardless of what they say, each are saying the same thing with different words. Bad ass is what guys say, most manly man ever is what chicks say. Each from their perceptive. Women, they want the most manly dude around, men what to be a bad ass, they want to follow bad ass mother fuckers and they want to be on a crew full of bad ass mother fuckers which solidifies there own place in the hierarchy of men ( note most men do not want to lead such a crew, they want to be on it, part of that team, be part of the glory, honor and achievements).  What they are reacting to is the margins, that 10% differences between me and those other men.  They have facebook accounts, I don’t; they were wearing what amounts to business casual, I was in leathers with a skull cap; they drink beer, I drink bourbon on the rocks; I have face fur, unkempt and almost out of control, they are clean shaven or have well kept facial hair; they ask their girls for permission, I tell mine whats going down(and who); They hold hands etc with their girls, I smack mine on the ass in public. You get the picture. It’s in the margins

Girl#1 made the statement no women ever born enjoys being a girl more then her. Some may enjoy being a girl as much as her, but none more and she made the observation I love being a man, revel and glory in it. It is one of the key things she finds appealing in me( and lets face it I’m pretty much a one trick pony so that IS what she likes about me. Everything else she would say is an offshoot of that). The difference between me and those other dudes is that revelry. Unapologetic. Unrepentant. Unreconstructed. At all times back here in the world, those other dudes hold some part of their masculinity back. They are limited, controlled and play the role society, church, school etc  has taught them

Being a bad boy isn’t being bad, its being a man. The phrase needs to be retired and betas need to embrace being a man, revel in the testosterone and live at full fucking speed.

 

The other two things I hear often are “you are scary” and “nice beard”. Now I have a nice beard. No doubt and I have been asked twice to join beards-men clubs and compete in local bearding events. Its a gift of nature and nothing I had to work to develop but I love my beard. More then any woman… on par with my bikes, dogs and guns. Yea that much but mostly that phrase is used as an uncomfortable icebreaker. Most recently, when I was in an elevator. Some slick in a suit steps into my elevator before he notices me… looks taken back and says nice beard. He was, I think, more concerned about the safety of his wallet and used that phrase to gauge where things stood. That’s the vibe I pick up most often, but here in the West, beards are a sign of masculinity and there is a good deal of recognition in the phrase( also a traditional sign of maturity and wisdom that maturity use to bring and was honored  but that’s something else)

You are scary or some version of it comes from chicks. Often what I hear is “thank God you are nice”  or “I thought you were mean,” after a short conversation when she feels more at ease. ( to pull a lot of ass I had to learn to offset the scary) When she is high on vagina fumes and girl power she’ll say “I am not afraid of you”. LOL then why say such a thing darling? Through out history strangers and strange men have been a threat to…. well everyone so it makes sense. It also makes sense because I live and dress outside the mainstream( one of the things negros say that crack me up is how White folk judge them based on appearances while they are dressed like a thug…. )

Any rate, once again men and women are saying the same basic thing but choosing different verbiage for the message  and that message is a reflection of scoring high on the masculinity ladder

Ton’s big news

Well The Shadow Knight nailed it. Girl#1 is pregnant. I…. don’t really know how or what I think/ feel about this.

I want more children but this is a huge risk to her and the child’s health. She was told a long time ago that she was unlikely to bare children, and that any pregnancy would pose a serious risk to her and the child’s health. Because of this, she has been on the pill and I wear raincoats. Murphy’s law in action; anything that can happen will happen; anything that can fail will fail. I also wonder how this will affect the dynamics of things between us and the other two girls. Only time will tell

Mostly I am worried for her and the child. On the upside, the 1st 3 months were the highest risk for the child, which is why she waited to tell me. I get that, I have been hesitant on telling other folks. Like I don’t want to have to tell people if she loses the child. On the down side, the last 3 months are the highest risk for her. We talked about this before and neither of us are fans of murdering the unborn, so we’ll roll the dice and see how this comes up. It eats at me that this is not my battle to fight. I want her to stop working, she doesn’t want to listen to the doctors. Just dumb. We don’t need the money. I will go back to my state side job next month. No down range time until after the baby is born. Maybe not even then. I got my own share of not good medical news and well kids change things. I will pay off the house with in the month. This does mean staying here vs moving to Duplin.This also messes with will, but I’ll get that worked out next month.

Not all my homecomings over the years have been happy. This was a happy one. My daughter and Girl#1 meet me at the airport. We had a late night meal, dropped my daughter off at her place and went home. Girl#1 makes my motor run. I didn’t go without sex while down range, but once I pulled Girl#1 into me it sure felt like I had. The Hell Hounds had other plans so I had to play with the dogs before I could reacquaint myself with Girl#1.
Girl#2 cried when I showed up at her graduation party unannounced. She looks better than ever. Her and Girl#3 have both stepped up their Girl Game. I had a good time there. No one from their work showed up so we were free to be a family of 4. We had to switch waitress in the middle of the party. I told our waitress she couldn’t leave as she was the best looking gal on the staff and I didn’t want an ugly chick bringing me booze. I talked her into lining up a few other waitresses so I could pick our replacement. The wait staff laughed pretty hard but some of Girl#2’s SIW type friends were offended. Also funny, but the moral of that story is….. you can get away with damn near anything if you do it with a grin on your face and a smile in your eyes. Girl#3 helped me pick out our new waitress. She rocks

I also attended a ball with Girl#3. This was a work event for her and our 1st one on one event. She looked fabulous in her red cocktail dress with her new found skillz in makeup and hair fixing. Girl#3 use to be a strap hanger, along for the ride because of Girl#2, but that is no longer the case. I got all slicked up and charmed the panties off the women at the ball. Think I upset most of the dudes there, which I pretty much counted on. She is in most beta of branches and I seem to upset betas just by breathing

Otherwise it has been daily life. I shot two dove, lost my ATM card, replaced the battery in a bike and the Cobra, the Cobra’s convertible top won’t move…. Caught 0 fish, saw 0 deer and the one bear I saw was why out of range. Damn bow hunting. Probably the biggest bear I have seen in Eastern NC, but I am not as experienced bear hunter as I would like to be. Figure some deer are probably partying hard on my ATM card.This was our 1st time hunting out of this deer camp. I have a lot of improvements to make #1 being the shed we were living in was way drafty.  I spent two days on my bike. Folks say its too cold, I tell them their genital is too small. Now its time to work on the Christmas decorations

Going fishing

I am leaving for Dubai 1 Dec and should be home with my darling girls by 3 Dec. They have already given me a to do list consisting of sex acts (one literally says jack hammer her into a stupor) and meals to cook. Life is good. Girl#2 is done with her master’s and Girl #3 is having a shindig for her at this bar on the ocean. Girl#2 doesn’t know when I am coming home so my presence at the party will be a surprise. She’ll cry.LOL So much for her strong independent woman cred. Which she is all about in her public persona but not at all in private or within our family. It will be good to see the Girls and the Hell Hounds.

I hear Boy has been out of control since I left, stepping up and being the man of the house… until he crosses Odin. Testing Odin is pure stupidity. Hopefully he settles down once I am home without having to make a big deal out of it

My Cobra won’t start. Gives me something to work on when I get home and it’s too cold to ride. My Fat Boy won’t start…… see above. Road King is good to go and my winter bike any which way

I am tired. Normally on the plane ride back I drink my ass off and try to get the air waitress pregnant. Right now all I see myself doing is sleeping. Getting sick really whipped my ass

Apparently there is some sort of news waiting on me when I get home. Supposed to be good news. LOL girls withholding intell…. That’s always dicey

Word always gets around. In this case it’s about me coming homing and various girls who use to be in my rotation. They are coming out of the wood work, most haven’t seen me in over a year. I’m ignoring them. I will spend New Years with Girl#1 and Black Beauty. She’ll be bringing Red Man and Little Beauty and I’ll have my nieces for part of Christmas. This will be the 1st time I have seen them since I ejected my sister in law, but my time off will have a lot of kids in it. Will be good to be Uncle Ton for awhile

Pre-selection and status. I run the whole crew here which in theory adds to my status but I think pre selection carries more weight. I have been chit chatting with this lovely Thai girl but not really getting anywhere until like two days ago. What changed that was her seeing me kiss a couple of girls at our party. Pre-selection seems like a subset of status to me but it’s the one that counts. Status is good it is extremely important to me to be held in the high regard of men and I know it helps a man generate the tingles but pre-selection is better for tingle production…. The Thai girl actually said I make her tingle