Category Archives: ending a relationship

Ton on Patriarchy

Around these here parts, we all hear a lot of man talk about Patriarchy, restoring Patriarchy and being a Patriarch in the hear and now.

Despite men’s best efforts and genuine desire, I doubt how many of us are Patriarch of his family. !st, few men really know what the job entails. The tactical reality on the ground is being a Patriarch as a Roman or Saxon would understand the term is not only socially despised but outlawed. Leave all your wealth to your oldest son, and your other children can take it to court, overriding your last will and testament. Correct your wife, put her on a budget, demand your rights to her body and you can be facing domestic violence charges. Try forbidding your daughter or son from marrying who they choose or majoring in what they want at college….. Sure you have options, but the law won’t back you on any of them.

Most men, most especially Betas are not cut out to be Patriarchs. The way I reckon things it was betas males who drove feminism. Why? Alpha males always have sexual options, no matter how restrictive the culture he finds himself in. It is beta males who get ground down by nagging wives and the toils of life. Life is hard on betas and feminism was a way to lighten their load. Or so they were told and so they thought. Thing is, there are no light loads. You only transfer one set of burdens for another. Christ tells to come unto him to find rest because there is no long term worldly rest.

To be a Patriarch is to take on burdens. The burden of command and authority is no fucking joke. Most men do not understand what is like to have life and death authority over and responsibility for the well being of 30-40 or more men. One of the man o sphere’s mistaken ideas is the limited scope of Patriarchy. It is not simply ruling over and taking care of your small family. It is having a very real amount of responsibility for your grandchildren and their lives, your siblings, their spouses and their children. Maybe your fathers siblings, your parents and their parents as well. Various discussions about Kinism will address these issues more thoroughly. It is not coming home and deciding what’s for diner, its deciding on where the family will live, subjects children will study, sports they will engage it, which head of live stock live and which ones get butchered, its how much money to save, what to spend money on, who should marry who, what business ventures the extend family will engage in, who shall run which endeavor, where and how to worship, who is and who is not living up to the family name, what shall be done with those who do not…. the list is damn near endless.

In a true Patriarchy, when my brother crossed the river Jordan, responsibility for his widow and children would have legally fallen on me. They would have moved in to my house, I would have parented his children, chosen his widows next husband, had full legal authority and legal responsibility for them.

When my little brother was called home he left behind a wife and two young daughters. Not only did he leave a widow behind but two young daughters. One of whom has serious behavioral problems, and I mean serious. The kind that leads to nothing good; hard life, early death, jail time not to mention the harm she does and will do to others. She was like this before my brother died, but they came to live with me for a short while where my troubled niece saw major behavioral improvements from living in steady state of consistent, calm discipline. My more fragile niece thrived.  My sister in law learned how to make good decisions, balance a budget, keep a clean house, dispense discipline and justice with her children, cook healthy food and in general be a functioning adult and mother.

She left my house in a huff because I was limiting her girl power (drinking), treating her like a child ( at best a woman is the oldest teenager in the house, still a child) and because I just didn’t understand how hard it was for her to be a widow and a single mom. For the record, I understand, as much as I can, but frankly I don’t give a fuck. Those are excuses to be a failure.  How hard it is doesn’t change what needs to be done, how it needs to be done or the needs of small girls. I fucking hate excuses. Spin hamster spin.

Any rate, she moves out and back to their old home and things are now once again out of control. The house is too large for a single mom to keep clean, or for one to keep track of the kids. The yard is way to large for her to deal…. especially with how much the one child requires supervision and the other damage control.  The cost to keep the house going is quite high. The problem niece torments pets to the point when she was bitten by a their dog no one in my family blamed the dog. I now have their Pit Bull. He is at my feet as I type, poor guy gets bullied by the Hell Hounds, but he takes it in stride. My niece steals, she lies like she breathes, natural and easy and some are damaging as hell( she once started begging money saying her mommy could not afford to feed them and gifts laying on the sob story about being fatherless and her mommy not having the money to buy them things( neither are true); she had the school call CPS on my sister in law because she was angry at her mother and she cranked up the lies; she is violent toward smaller kids, including her sister; cheats at everything she does and of course gets in a fair amount of trouble at school. There really is nothing much positive to say about the child, though if she was a boy, he’d be one ass pulling machine.

Child Protective services was called on my sister in law, who is frankly a dumb, drunk bitch who made matters worse, but not so bad the CPS folks took the kids. More recently my nieces behavior sunk to a new low which could have only been achieved by neglect. A week long period of neglect while they spent 5 days at a well known theme park. My sister in law, and her family thinks it’s funny; my sister in laws idea of discipline is to yell  threats at the child, like I will punch you in the face, then she laughs about the poor behavior. She has never made the child return the money or gifts she grifted or give the money/ gifts to charity. Her excuse for not doing anything? She had never faced such a thing before? Who the fuck needs to have a massive amount of experience with a their child being a con artist to know that step one is making sure the kid doesn’t actually profit from their deceit? Also I am leaving a bunch of stuff out, some a potentially worse then what I have reported.

So I rolled up to see them, to recon the objective and develop a course of action….

The grass had not been cut in who knows how long, the neighbor who was doing it for free has not had the time( he is busy dealing with the shitty economy and even worse wife, but he is such a beta he felt the need to apologize to me like a thousand and one times hence the shitty wife); the house was full of trash, some in trash bags, a goodly amount was not. There was rotting food in my sister in laws bedroom; half eaten food all over the place; the kids bathroom was a wreck including a toilet full of piss and shit, faucet handles so nasty I wouldn’t touch them etc. The 1st thing I noticed walking into the house? It smelled like dog piss which also means my niece the problem child is having a blast tormenting the new puppy. Yea my dumb ass sister in law got another dog for that kid to attack. My good niece is an emotional wreck, God bless her. She is good as gold but I fear what this will do to her. My sister in law was damn near incoherent on wine at mid day, she has strangers living with them. A family of troglodytes she has known for like 4 months with a massively dysfunctional background.

I grabbed my nieces, put them on my bike and found a hotel. Well that isn’t true. I already knew where it is. The next morning when I return my sister in law freaks out about them being on the bike. The strangers in the house had to tell her I took the kids. Yea she didn’t remember crazy ass uncle Ton left with her kids. She thinks the house is fine as it is( apparently its basically clean, just cluttered), the evil child is sweet and loving despite kicking her younger sister in the face for shits and grins, the emotionally wrecked child is fine and of course she has the ultimate excuse; its hard to be widow and she is doing a great job given how hard it is

Bullfuckingshit. She is an utter failure as a mother. A little tough love later and she is trying to kick me out of the house. I refused to go without the girls, she calls the cops. A small little lady cop shows up and she is scared shitless when she sees my sister in law in an uncontrollable rage. Of course I am by default the bad guy. I refuse to comply with her demands I leave the property. She threatens to arrest me, I shrug. I told the lady cop I will leave with my nieces; when CPS shows up or in a body bag. She has no idea how to respond and calls for help. I am cal sitting on my bike, recording everything on my cellphone, being as non threatening as I can be, while my sister in law rages. The lady cop tries to speak with me but I tell it will only add stress to the situation unless my sister in law is put in check. She tries to engage in nervous chit chat until a sergeant shows up who pulls me to the side while the girl cop tries to keep my sister in law in calm. The amount of emotional and physical energy a drunk crazy bitch can pour out and sustain is unbelievable. I would have collapsed from exhaustion before the 1st law dog showed up.  I tell him the same thing I told the lady cop, plus about my gun and offer to temporarily surrender the gun and sit in his car until CPS shows up or he searches the house. He does not take me up on the offer. I tell him about the other family and he waits for a third cop to show up. The two cops spend about 3 minutes in the house before calling CPS.

Its a weekend so it takes a long time for CPS to show up. Mean while the cop is trying to do the tough guy act now that things are basically resolved/ under control, giving me a list of the things he could pull me in for. I resit the urge to say something clever like “oh nos, I’ve never been in trouble with the law before whatever will I do?”( that is my default response to cops just like I have an autonomic response to someone asking me who the hell do I think I am?  “I am the Ton motherfucker, maybe you heard of me, bitch?”

CPS says the house is a wreck but not so bad they’ll take the kids. I tell them and the cops if the kids are harmed or get some weird health issues I will hurt them. All of them. More bullshit posturing by the cops, but they do nothing and spend a fair amount of time telling me to relax. Which is funny since I didn’t cuss or raise my voice.

What comes next is the most dishearten part. Damn near everyone in my family and her’s blows up my phone to run through a laundry list of character faults, my character faults. Some pussy ass squid of a brother in law threatens to kick my ass. I laughed. I am clam as I always am. I hang up on each one of them after a few minutes. What’s the point in continue an argument with irrational 14 year old girls throwing hissy fits? None so there was no point in talking with them. I created a group text telling them I understand they are embarrassed because not only did they stand by and did nothing while the lived in filth and were at risk, they actively hide intell from me. I took action as soon as the intell arrived ( ok 7 hours later after I packed and got some sleep), and that they are scared my sister in law will turn on them and keep their nieces or granddaughters away but they are enabling the neglect of blood relatives and furthering the out of control behavior of our niece. I told them if they ever need to contact me it best be to apologize, and they will have to communicate through my father I blocked their numbers, email etc.

Only my father, uncles, two aunt and my own children are speaking to me. My daughter is in her own rage, she is a fierce as fierce gets in her protection of me.

Folks are puzzled I am not upset about how things played out. By everyone I mean my beloved daughter, Ton Spawn Production Unit and Half Ton Production Unit and my Majordomo. To me, there is nothing to be upset about. The family who turned on me demonstrated how they do not add value to my life or honor my brother, our name or blood kin. They are weak, refusing to act to protect the weakest members of our collective family out of fear of a little woman with a drinking problem and some vague idea they will never see the kids again; they fear being called names and worst of all of being deemed judgmental…. I did what needed to be done, my duties, obligations and responsibilities fulfilled. My honor and pride intact. Doing nothing would eat me alive. I was asked how do I live with myself?(meant as a hurtful comment which I immediately hung up on; never complain, never explain, always take decisive action). That’s how I live. I do what needs to be done and I put duty, honor and right action above all else. One day I will stand before the Almighty God, and I have more to answer to then the most of men, but there are things I will not be called to as well.

We hear a good deal of men around these parts claim or speak to being the Patriarch type. I call bullshit 99% of the time. Soft men are not Patriarchs. Going to your Latin mass, or attending a so called traditional church with a stay at home wife does not make you a Patriarch. Doing the hard things for the least of your kin, making the hard calls and rolling with the hate does.

Want to be a Patriarch? Then embrace the suck of authority, responsibility and being hated. It’s a man’s job, not a betas.

and then there was 2 or…. Next

I gave Girl#2 the big Next yesterday. She was at my house for the weekend, all the Girls were, and got to feeling combative. As one can imagine I don’t put up with much and in the course of our “discussion” she said “you know what Ton? FUCK YOU”. I stopped what I was doing, smiled at her and left the room to pack her shit. She was to busy with her phone to notice. Before long, I had her shit packed and at the her car. I pulled Girl#3 aside and told her what was about to go down. She was torn, but I gave her the “deiced now or leave” deal and elected to stay. Her only concern was how she would get home since Girl#2 drove.

With that resolved  I stood over top of Girl#2 and told her to get the fuck out of my house. She threw a fit, I told her I would call the cops if she did not leave. Her invitation was revoked and she is trespassing. She was stunned, melting down etc, so I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her toward the car. She threw a screaming shit fit when she saw her bags by her car and I mean screaming and carrying on. Again I told her she had to leave or I would call the cops. I turned my back to her and she struck me. As I knew she would. I told her if she hit me again I would respond in self-defense. She started screaming all manner of obscenities at me and about me as I walked into the house.

Once I was in the house I sent her a text message; leave or I will call the cops. She elected to throw her shit all over my yard and as I was blocking her number in my cell phone. I told the rest of my Girls to do the same. She left once she was done flinging poo like a monkey.

I boxed up her stuff and put it in the mail today.

We are done. No explanation, no complaints, no none of that bullshit. Just “we are done; get the fuck out of my home or I will call the cops”. I have “fuck you” as an automatic trigger point. Years ago I made the decision to reject any woman who told me “fuck you” or “fuck off” etc. All my trigger points are predetermined. That way I am not making decisions in the heat of the moment. You do this in combat as well

 

The remaining Girls are somewhat shaken up. To them, this is a shitty weekend event. To me its just like any other Sunday. My casual and buiness like attitude toward ejecting Girl#2 has them all over the map emotionally. Good emotions, bad emotions…. doesn’t matter. Its the intensity of the experience that keeps the tingles going and both the remaining Girls were lubed up Sunday night.

 

As for me, I’ll waste no more time or effort on her. Next them and next them hard then go bang her friends. Her bitching about you will get them lubed up for you.