Category Archives: weight lifting

How the fu……….

We were at a party, kicking it with some local friends when an older couple asked me about staying in shape. Basically wondering how a half dead mid 50’s dude remains “fit “….. I think…. I’m never really sure what folks are asking me on questions like that. Typically I have to be half drunk to talk to folks who I don’t really care about, questions like that from semi strangers almost always put someone in the don’t care pile, and partly because it’s a conversation without definition or meaning. Mostly folks mean musculairty. I think. Reality is, if your an older dude who hasn’t been pushing heavy iron for decades you’ll never hit a high level of musculairty just like I’ll never be able to learn high level math or become a concert piano’est. Some things have to start early in life. You can still develop a better body and better health but you’re never gonna look like a guy who spent 43 years or so pushing iron. #2 you probably aren’t gonna work your diet or run gear, diets suck, gear is illegal…. right now I am coasting on 20 mcgs of hgh, 1000 mgs of tes E and 400 mgs of deca to offset some serious joint pain, weekly….. decca is why I am running 250-300 mgs more tes then normal for me. A healthy middle age guy can seriously improve his physical strength, which will help you look good nekkid but have some realsitc goals on the how you’ll look. Diet is a mother fucker and you’ll have to 0 that in to maximise how you look. I go pretty low carb 5-6 days a week, and I do some version of fasting but I also rely on the hgh and tes to keep pick up my slack. Dropping 20 pounds will help most guys LGN more then weight training. Quicker results too.

Sometimes I think folks mean work capacity though they don’t know enough to get that in the proper perepctive. Anaerobic conditioning is superior to aerobic. Don’t run miles on end if you want to to be able to do physical labor around your house effectively. There isn’t much carryover with long distance running but that is something healthy middle age guys can improve. Greatly. You should be able to improve how efficiently your body mechanics work. That will help you get by in life. I helped my neighbor build a handicap ramp for his beloved. He’s a really efficient carpenter but he also moves through physical space, uses tools, lifts 4×4’s etc efficiently. 62 years old and still a machine. To get strong you want to squat, deadlift, do bent over rows, bench press and overhead press….. traps and arms for looking better….. These will also help you become mechanically more efficient….. push presses will help you learn to efficiently time your body’s interactions and so will power clean…. power cleans to push press are a must after a year or so of training …. Add to this throwing something semi weighted and in different plans of motion, some weight swinging and some jumping….. don’t start jumping for 3-6 months if you’re comeplelty new. And add some walking. It’s what your body was desgined for…. learn how to do new shit to keep your body in that striving for mechnical efficiency groove…. I worry less about that physically and more about that mentally. TBI’s are a mother fucker but I will say my CPU seems to be working better now that I am taking it serious.

Sometimes folks say that meaning healthy sex life. I have no real answers. Being stronger etc will up your testosterone which should up sex drive, running 1000 mgs of tes E will most def help but there is a lot more going on then that. Chemically I try to stay in my 20’s/ 30’s. Yay ster-roids! but The Girls are way younger then me, work at staying fit and shapely…. as in lost all the baby weight etc, almost never piss me off…… probably been more then a year since we had any cross words…. could be more like 3….. and frankly I think that counts for more then the rest of the other stuff. Most men don’t need Viagra, they need something better looking and less cranky. I can remember not wanting to bang my ex wife because she was being a cunt even when we were both young and what not. I also don’t live with them or the kids full time and that keeps things lit

There is some genetics at play. My people are high energy. None of us spend much time sitting down or screwing off and our idea of down time is usually some kind of being active. Hobby vs TV. If that makes sense to y’all and 30 years ago I remember my grandparents really being into each other. Blood line counts and I hope they are as proud of me as I am of them and their family name

But the other night we were socialising with some folks and the question was asked about working out. I told the guy, a little younger then me, that I mostly did 20-30 min workouts at home, couple times a day, even when I was flipping a house….. nothing fundamentally different then the last time I wrote about this…. and some fat chick said “that’s all you really need”

Apparently it’s impolite to say say “How the fuck would your fat ass know?”

The Ton and Training

I am still training to the extent my lung damage allows, mainly focused on maintaining a certain mid range level of strength and maximising my anaerobic conditioning

Which means mostly kettlebells. Kettlebells are only half a lift so they are not particularly taxing on the CNS or joints…. as long as you keep your shoulders packed/ pulled back, they do better then ok for functional strength and help maintain speed. Not to mention blow out the lungs

I am doing my best to train twice a day, 5-6 times a week, kettlebells in the morning, prehab/ rehab and certian skills I don’t want to loose.

Going to lay this out in an assbackward manner, meaning my second workout of the day 1st and in a best case scenario.

My second work out of the day is mostly sledgehammering and old tractor tire. 8lb hammer, 3 mins of work, 1 minute of rest, no more then 5 work sets. I’m going to do this at least twice a wek, maybe everyday depending on how I feel. It’s always been remarkably good for my shoulders and back, gets me breathing heavy without crushing my ablity to recover.

2nd most common second work out is… throwing a medicine ball around. I have this soft’ish 10 pound med ball. I’ll set the timer on my phone for 20 mins. I throw the ball. Walk over to it. Pick it up. Throw it again, rinse repeate. Switch out the type of throw every 10 reps. Chest pass for 10 reps. Overhead pass 10 reps. Granny throw frontwards and straight up for 10 reps, granny throw backwards and overhead for 10 reps. Really looking for height and the triple extension on them granny throws. Do this no more then twice a week.

10 rounds on the heavy bag, 60 seconds of work, 60 seconds or rest. I’m going to work the same 3 combinations for most of those rounds, all power shots, all the time. I will regularly throw single power shots for the whole round. When I do that I will be working 2’s, 3’s, short right elbow, right knee shots, strong side shin kicks. Always once a week. Can’t do that anymore then once a week.

Morning kettlebells……

Warm up is always the same, bullet proof coffee, 4 sets of 8 reps of dumbbell curls/ supper set with 4 sets of 8 reps over head tricpe extensions. My elbows are pretty mobile at this point. Sometimes I add icey hot

KB training day #1 double kettlebells, going to use 32kg/ 71’ish pounds……Dead snatches for 4 reps/ dead cleans for 4 reps/ overhead press for 4 reps. Not sure the work time but I take 2-3 mins of rest. 4-5 work sets

Kettlebell day #2 is an active rest day. Single 12kg/ 25’ish pounds. 20 swings, 30 seconds rest. Right foot forward. 20 swings, 30 seconds of rest. Left foor forward, 20 swings, 30 seconds of rest. Traditional stance, 20 swings. 60 seconds of rest. Might do this 3 times. 4 if I am feeling really good, typically going to do this twice

Day 3; double 12kg. 10 swings, 10 snatches, 5 hanging snatches, 90 seconds of rest. 10 swings, 10 swings with high pulls, 5 hanging snatches. 90 seconds of rest. Looking for 8 total sets which is about 10 mins of work time. Hardest day of the week. Lungs are screaming

Day 4, just like day 2

Day 5. Just like day 3

Day 6. Single, 24kg/ 53’ish pounds. Dead snatch for 4 reps, dead clean for 4 reps, overhead press for four reps, switch hands, repete. 60 seconds of rest. Overhead press 4 reps, one arm row for 4 reps, dead cleans for reps. 60 seconds of rest. Looking for a total of 8 sets.

Once a month I will do some strong man training. I will power clean to push press for max weight using a 2″ bar. Don’t normally go more them 265 for one rep. Takes 4-5 sets to get . Atlas stone…… 3-5 reps for 3-5 sets of the only stone I still own. Weighs about 220 pounds. Farmers walk, 110 pounds per hand. Looking to do 200 yards in total. Might be 8 trips of 25 yards, might be 2 trips of a hundred yards or 4 trips for 50 yards. No work rest cycle. I take the rest I need, probably no more then 3 mins, most likely 2. How I feel the next day will dictate the rest of the week. Might be a normal full week. Might just be active rest and sledgehammering with some boxing mid week

Diet; interemeint fasting, 12hours on, 12 hours off. I’m a low carb dude by default 5 days a week. I drink sweet tea and Cherwine on the weekends…. ain’t ever been able to stop that shit. I couldn’t do the fasting when I was more serious about training but isn’t a problem now

Drug use 100mgs of tes P every day. I’ll double that if needs be but don’t typically do more then 100mgs. 200mgs of oral primo everyday. 100 mgs of winny every other day or 50 mgs of anavar everyday. 40mgs of nolvadex everyday, 60-80mcgs of clen everyday. 5 IU’s of HgH per day.

Let’s see… I still prefer to train outdoors. I have a metal carport to train under these days. Can run fans there when its insanely hot, might enclose it for the winter. I train barefoot which has been good for my knees and feet, Med ball throws and farmers walk are always out in the weather. And I always wear shoes for those. Most weeks I am doing 4-6 rounds vs 8. I never do more then 8. Tired it, was very hard to recover from

Dialing this in has been a huge quality of life improvement. I walk around at about 230 these days. Down about 57 pounds from when I cracked 900 in the squat and 365 in the push press. Still keeping that same 14’ish % body fat because any lower and I get weak and sickly. I still have that werid power lifter belly but I can turn my head in the full range of motion, wipe my own ass, tie my own shoes and bang The Girls 2-3 times a day. Not as often as when i was doing a lot more gear but a hell of a lot more often when I was in the ICU for months at a time

Ton and training vs injuries, age and heat

These days my training slows down in the summer. Something got to give and it’s unlikely to be the heat

Winter or summer I mostly train outdoors. Winter a little less so because the rain makes heavy lifting dangerous. Getting injured in training is worse than useless. Any rate, I already have a list of injuries longer then my arm and most days this time of year are near on 100 with humidity to match. When I was a younger man, over training wasn’t an issue. These days? My body just needs a break and the combination of heat, age and injuries makes recovery a bitch

So I back off the heavy weight. Well I have been doing that for awhile now, trying to keep my squat and deadlift around 600 pounds and my push press around 325, but right now I am not doing back squats or traditional deadlifts at all

Number one thing I have changed with age is how I run gear. In the day it would have been whinny, tren e, tes p, halos right before contest and however much anavar I could afford

Right now it’s more about hormone replacement then heavy training. I’m running 4iu of hgh(grey top because of price) everyday, 200 mgs of tes p every other day, 75mcgs of t3 per day, and a shit load of different anti estrogens. I take the bitch tit battle serious

Diet? The heat kills my appetite. It’s a large factor in why training is the summer is such a bitch. Couple eggs, half a bagel or a couple peices of fish and some corn on the cob… yeah that’s pretty much it. When I eat out I get the lightest meal on the menu. I’ll eat a bigger meal maybe every 3days or so. It’s all fucked up but there it is. I also drink Gatorade this time of yeah. I am not eating much so drinking my calories is less of an issue

Training? I am still training through out the day, and almost every day. Anyrate hour 15 minutes of training does not offer set a sedentary lifestyle. Owning 3 business equals sedentary lifestyle.

Most mornings I get up at 4am, take a piss and get started; 5-10 box jumps with a 45 pound kettle bell in each hand, 8-10 lunges (per leg) with the aforementioned kettle bells, 12-15 over head squats the kettle bells. That’s one set. I do that 3-5 times. 3sets being way more common. Then I do 3-5sets of 8-10 reps of over head press with the kettle bells, the same for floor presses,  then the ab wheel, then curls, then over head extensions. All in the same super set manner, with the same kettle bells. This is maybe 30 minutes worth of work. The weight is low, the  focus on speed/explosion and short rest intervals

Make breakfast, take the dog for a walk. From my house, down the ravine to the main feeder creek and back is near on 5 miles. It’s an easy walk.  A nice asphalt trail, lots of shade, creek for the dog to fuck around in and a rather decent set of stairs. I sprint up those stairs 3-10 times, normally 5 or so, rarely do the 10.

Home for more chow, a shower and work…. I mostly work from home. Being able to workout when I am bored is a major advantage of working from home. Same for when things are slow. Mostly I take phone calls about trucking issues. Lots of time to train. Anyrate, during the day I am looking to do up to 300 reps of certain movements. The 300 rep days means no additional weight.

Those movementsort are, gluten ham raise, ab work off the ghr bench, low back extention of some sort, more bicep and triceps work. Seems like a lot of work but it isn’t. Most days it’s 5-8sets of 15-25 reps. Whatever weight/rep range I use, I am not using so much weight I have to push hard. As in I have taken business calls while I train. 5-10 minutes of work every 45 minutes or so. Tops. My ellbows hurt like hell if I don’t do 100 easy reps of biceps/ triceps every two days or so

Evening training is normally a single strongman event and/ or beating a tire with a hammer. Again here I am not looking to do much. Normally no more then a total of 25 reps if I am cleaning and overhead pressing, lifting stones or tire flipping. Distance on a carry event is probably 15-20 yards(length of my driveway), no more then 10 trips. 6-8 being typical. 3-5 three minutes rounds on the tire hammering

That’s it in a nutshell.  I kayak…. fish from a kayak on occasions vs training. Some mornings I’ll skip the walk and kettle bells stuff to work hard on power cleans, front squats or overhead squats. Normally overhead squats. I mostly kayak and fish when i am at the beach house with the Girls and Ton Spawn. I do have a couple of kettle bells there, a natural stone that weighs about 200 pounds and another tire to flip, but I never train more then 30 minutes when I am there. I will walk the dogs some but mostly when I am there kayaking, fishing and fucking is all the exercise I get

Freedom, Firepower and FuckYeah “(c) 2016 Ton’s Place” ….. The Ton life bitches

The Ton Life is a life long quest for Freedom, Firepower and FuckYeah! (FFPFY) “(c) 2016 Ton’s Place”. … ie Bikes, Booze, Brawls and Bitches. In that order but men age and things change….

What is Freedom, FirePower and FuckYeah! ? FFPFY is the masculine life taken to its limits, the rush men feel when living an unrepentant, unapologetic life of unreconstructed masculine Frame. It’s that combination high of testosterone and adrenaline as you knee drag your 1st corner, pull your 1st big deadlift, land that trophy bass…. it is fleeting and addicting, pushing you toward knee dragging the next corner.’  FFPFY is being fully alive vs the mass of living dead seen shuffling around you. It’s also the only addiction worth having and I reckon all other addictions are a proxy high for the adrenaline/ testosterone combo. Addictions to pussy, booze, pills or cards leave men broken, hollow and shambling around in the same living dead condition as the zombies on Walking Dead or that sparky who lives three doors down.  Addiction to  testosterone and adrenaline may very well lead to a broken body and a short life, but it gives your kids great ways to brag about their Old Man and you damn sure won’t be hollow inside.

Freedom the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

the quality or state of being exempt or released usually from something onerous               <freedom from care>

the quality of being frank, open, or outspoken

boldness of conception or execution

unrestricted use

Now that’s some scary shit if you are a bitch ( either the kind with a gash or dude without balls). Men doing what they want? Cannot have that. They might drink a little to much, spend some time mudding around their favorite fishing hole, refuse to wear a seat belt or helmet… hell they might even smoke in public and not work those extra 400 hours a year to support some ungrateful bitch I mean loving wife. He might just smoke a little weed, lose some money at cards, not be heard from for three days because his dog is better company then his old lady and kids or because the deer stand more fulfilling then some bullshit job. His employer might have to make a little less money off him, Madison Avenue might not be able to con him into buying shit he doesn’t need, church pews might be a little less full and the man hating preacher out of simps to AMOG, the government might have to do with a little less tax revenue and banks might have to make a little less off their usury…. and bold open non politically correct language might hurt someones wittle feelings…. O the humanity

Sounds an awful like they hate your Freedom because you might choose not to live a life of soft slavery.

FirePower is the military capability to direct force at an enemy…… Firepower involves the whole range of potential weapons. The concept is generally taught as one of the three key principles of modern warfare wherein the enemy forces are destroyed or have their will to fight negated by sufficient and preferably overwhelming use of force as a result of combat operations.

Through the ages firepower has come to mean offensive power applied from a distance……is thus something employed to keep enemy forces at a range where they can be defeated in detail or sapped of the will to continue.

Best definition I’ve read in a while right there but for our purposes a Man’s FirePower isn’t only about the gun in his pocket(though you better have one). It’s about his Frame, the strength of his mind and his iron will.( read G Gordon Liddy’s book Will) A man who values his Freedom doesn’t want to live that life of soft slavery. A man with FirePower will resits that soft slavery. He’ll ignore the shaming language and the man up rants. He won’t be cowed by his boss, he won’t give a fuck what the so called elites have to say, He won’t tip his hat and say yes sir to some petty tyrant with a badge

FuckYeah! isn’t simply an expression of defiance, or a quite resignation toward a job that needs doing. It’s a a statement of excitement. It’s not simply a willingness to engage in risky behavior, or to rebel for the sake of smashing shit. It is a statement full of joy and lust for the challenges ahead. It is not “let’s do this”; it is “let’s roll ’cause this shit makes my cock hard”

It’s difficult to control men who are hooked on testosterone fueled Freedom, FirePower and FuckYeah……resistant to manipulation, difficult to control, difficult to predict, primal and bordering on the feral….. which is why nice guys, the nanny state and women fear it.. Want to know why they beat the masculinity out of little boys? It’s because they fear he’ll grow into a man, unbowed, unyielding, wild, free and dangerous.  Weak men and women are driven by fear and their need to control life around them to offset their fear.

Don’t let the bitches win; don’t let them turn you or your son or the dudes in your crew into bitches.

This post fueled by moonshine, homemade muscadine wine and the two sexy ass bitches singing in my shower

No bullshit training; how to get strong and become large and in charge the old school way

#1, I train I don’t workout. There is a difference. Every training session has an objective with midterm and long term objectives programmed in. An objective is an intentionally chosen goal with a drop dead date attached, and are always to lift X amount of weight at X body weight and X body fat percentages.
Training takes a hit when I am here. I’m 44, I’ve been blown up 7 times, shot and stabbed, misplaced a lung and have more weightlifting injuries then I care to count. The food quality is so-so, I don’t sleep well, and I work 12 hours a day. Minimum. All of which makes recovering a bitch. I adjust my training to meet the current reality. I do this with less trips to the gym and fewer reps in the 100% maximum effort range. My main goal is to build up my volume of work, continue to improve my lifting technique and rehab my various injuries. Right now I am training one day on, one day “off” and it looks like….

Day one/ morning
Squat 5 sets of 5 with 85% of my one rep max, or 3-5 sets of 3reps with 90% of my 1 rep max or 5-7 singles with 95% of my 1rep max. I look to limit my rest to 60 secs. Doesn’t always work that way
Dead-lifts 5X5 or 3×8. Depends on how the weight feels. I use 85% of my 1rep max for this which is the weight I use on the second lift and the rest of the training session
Front squats same as above
Good mornings same as above
Lunges…… maybe, maybe not depends on how I feel. Lately its be more no then go with these
Off/ sort of
Day two/ morning
Push press arranged like Squats up above
Close grip bench press. 5×5 or 5 sets of three reps. Depends on how I feel
Reverse grip Bench Press 5×5 or 3×8.
Dumbbell Bench Press 5×5 or 3×8
Off/ sort of
Day three/ morning
Power cleans arranged like Squats/ Push press above
One arm dumbbell rows 5×8-12 (they only have 100 pound dumbbells so I had to switch it up
Chest supported/ T-Bar rows 5×5 or 3×8
High lat rows 5×5 or 3×8
Barbell shrugs 5 sets of 8 (cannot go to heavy do to elbow injury)
Off day for real

My secondary training sessions look like this
Lunges 3-5 sets of 8/ supper set with Good mornings 3-5 sets of 8
Some sort of trap work; barbell shrugs, dumbbell shrugs or upright rows 3-5 sets of 8(chicks dig dudes with traps)/ supper set with Dumbbell bench-press 5×8
Barbell curls or concentration curls 5-8 sets of 8 reps super set with skull crushers
Back extensions, weighted, 3-5 sets of 8 reps super set with planks or the ab wheel o death( I hate the fucker and you need to do the shit you hate to fix your weak spots)
Neck raises and shoulder rehab
I do these mini training sessions 5 times a week, in the afternoon on the days I do my event work and on the sort of off days totaling 8 training session in 5 days.

Now a man cannot go from couch tatter to a two a day lifter without a plan. Step#1 is to work the primary system like but with an added day of rest. After you do session #3, you take 2 days off vs one. You run this for 3 months at least, but more like 6 before you add a second workout. Unless you are already an experienced lifter… and I mean lifting not the cable cross over and hammer strength machines

Now I hear all girls saying something about over training. My answer is bullshit. Yes you can over train, but most men lack the ability to drive themselves to that point, and do you think our bodies which evolved to be in constant motion from sun up to sun down cannot handle the typical sedimentary lifestyle and training twice day? Most of what I hear described as over training is being out of shape. The extra training sessions are all about improving your general physical preparedness. It is something you work up to and the second training session is not about letting lose in the gym. You pick a moderate weight that is relatively easy despite limiting rest to say 30 seconds. When you are ready to add the second training session, I recommend you start off with excise bands, I use Jump Stretch and you work up to 1 set of a 100 reps on muscles designed to take heavy use but move very little weight like tricpes and say maybe start off with 25 reps for muscles that move a lot of weight (your body weight if nothing else) like legs. Remember you don’t want to be smoked after your 2nd training session. If you pick the right weight and work the right muscle you are engaging in active rest and improving your ability to recover by bring fresh blood and nutrition into your muscles. So you start off with small bands working major muscle groups and after time you transition from there. There are all kinds of band work outs on the interwebz, mostly all will do the job for our needs at this point. Just don’t pick anything to demanding. Make sure your body has adapted to the extra demand before adding anything new. I if you add an exercise wait at least three weeks before adding a second. Body weight exercises are more demanding than people think so I would go to light barbell work, again working up the reps and never worrying about not training hard enough on sessions #2. They aren’t for hard work. They are for active rest, working on your weak spots, increasing the volume of your work out (helps put on mass and improving muscle endurance slightly) and working on your anaerobic conditioning. They normally take me 20 minutes or so to complete

You’ll have to play around and find a weight/ rep range that works best for you but start off with light weight and higher reps. Though I stick with the 8 rep range, its all weight I could do until my mind shuts down with boredom, but I only have 43% lung capacity and 8 reps is what works for me

My best contest squat is 725 @ 220. I didn’t not start off moving big(ish) weight, and when I 1st started adding second training sessions they were weak as weak gets. Like Good Mornings with the bar instead of the 385 I was doing at the time. The seconded session is not about stroking your ego, it’s about getting the extra work in that takes us from so/ so to good, then from good to somewhere closer to great.

I normally feel like puking after the main training event; you should feel better physically and psychologically after the 2nd training session.

This plan uses all three ways to gain strength, dynamic effort, max effort and the repetition method. I don’t do much speed work as that didn’t help me as much as it does other men( I am already very fast), but I have two dynamic days out of three…. Yes you cannot push the bar over your head without a great degree of bar speed

The main lifts, Squat, Push Press, and Power Cleans rarely changes. I may on occasion do strict press vs Push Press or weighted box jumps vs Power Cleans but not very often. I do change up secondary lifts somewhat, but at this point I know what works for me and what doesn’t. I don’t experiment much anymore. What I do change is the reps and percentage range of the main lift. Helps keep you in the game. If I am feeling beat up, the 95% day will be 5-7 singles and then greatly reduce assistant work or none at all. Like maybe 1 set of 25 reps and 8 mins on the elliptical. If I get feeling really bad, I’ll take a week off from the barbell and do 8 minutes of elliptical a day. What I am looking to do is turn the weight I use to do three reps with into weight I can do 5 sets of 5 reps with, but I will be happy if I go a year without injury and more or less maintain my current level of fitness. The extra bicep work has been paying off and I am experiencing much less pain in both biceps. If I am lucky they will have healed enough to start doing tire flips and atlas stones. If I am damn lucky, my hip will recover enough that I will start doing triples in the dead-lift. Mentally, dead-lifts intimidate me. The 1st time I dislocated my hip was from an IED. The second time was dead-lifting. I am not yet ready to face that kind of pain again. Yea I am pussy. Deal with it.

This post has gotten pretty long, training and the SMP will be a second post

bench press

Anyone who thinks the bench press is the ultimate test of strength is a fag. I’m a decent presser (420 @ 242) but the meet don’t start until the bar hits the floor. Deadlifts, squats, overhead presses all require more from your body then bench press.


Here’s the deal, I rarely train bench press. I can overhead press 325 on a good day. All upper back and triceps. If you want to bench press big weight get stable on the bench, some type of arch in your lower back, grab the bar and squeeze the SHIT out of it, while you try to pull the bar apart. Shrug your shoulders and lift the bar from pins with the shrug movement. Tuck your head, bring the bar down to about your nipples or lower, when the bar touches, drive with your feet, drive your head back and push your body away from the bar. Your secondary work should be mostly upper back and triceps. It’s not much of a pec movement when you get up there in weight


Overhead presses make me the happiest. I love having more weight then most folks squat (to fucking parallel you homo) over my head.